IF YOU’RE HAVING CYSTIC BREAKOUTS, I FEEL BAD FOR YOU, SON: I’m Solving 99 Reader Beauty Problems!

...and there are prizes to be won. HIT ME!

Sep 29, 2011 at 2:00pm | Leave a comment

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So anyone who reads my columns knows that I haven’t exactly been a happy unit lately. I’ve been stressed, depressed and self-absorbed, rehashing my personal traumas to a captive audience on the Internet who clicked in thinking they were going to merely pick up some good eyeliner recommendations -- and instead got something more comparable to my future (here's hoping!) NA qualification.

Histrionic personalities: Oh, how we like to manipulate you.

It’s high time that I shut up about myself and my troubles and gave you some straight-up beauty and health information you can use! I mean, obviously I will still be writing about my own messy life in other articles. This new series is just for you -- and partially BY you. FUBU! I’m so authentically urban today; I know.

What I mean is that YOU, the readers, are entirely in charge of submitting 99 PROBLEMS. And I’m going to answer them! And not only beauty and health problems -- ANY kind of problem, really. What the hell. I've been through it all: mice in my apartment, soul-crushing bosses, poison ivy.

(But since it's my job to mainly deal with beauty and health,  I guess just send those. One of MY biggest problems these past few years has been "Bored-Of-Writing-Only-About-Beauty Syndrome," you see.)

Oh, and did I mention that if your problem gets picked, you win a beauty prize? Uh-huh. Sent right to your door by one of our several brialliant-at-shipping-things-for-me xoJane.com interns.

So let’s get cracking: email me at cat@xojane.com and try to remember to put “PROBLEM!” or something in the subject line. I’ll be answering a few a week for approximately three million years, because, well, that’s what happens when you insist on the dumb song lyric joke -- as I am wont to do -- with "99" in it.

Can’t wait to help you guys solve every goddamn dilemma in the book. I support vanity and total preoccupation with one’s appearance, bitches. Let’s do this!  XO

P.S. You can follow me on Twitter @cat_marnell and also that is SO not my apartment. I'm no Kelly Wearstler or anything, but that dresser...