How To Get The Hot Look I've Dubbed 'Rich Mid-90s Mean Girl'

It's 1996 and I'm a spoiled snob on vacation in Italy. Just go with it.

I tend to go with themes when I have somewhere to go. I like to have a very concise vision of the look I'm going for, and if I feel I'm executing it properly, then my confidence skyrockets.

I was actually having a pretty crappy week in terms of self-esteem (partly due to the way my thighs looked in a pair of sample size leather shorts at a fitting on Thursday--blergh), but then you guys were so darn nice in my haircut post, and I had lots of fun plans to look forward to over the weekend, so started feeling pretty good.

Part of this sudden burst of happiness has to do with the look I donned on Saturday night. Hey, don't act like feeling good because I look good makes me vain because ... HELLO, do you know the name of this website? I'm entitled to my bouts of vanity every once in awhile since most of the time I look like a turtle in pajamas.

So Saturday night was my prom. OK, not exactly. My friends at WORN Fashion Journal hosted a grown-up prom in an old church, with corsages, spiked punch, and an amazing cake topped with a giant Barbie head. And since I never went to my own prom in high school (I dropped out twice, hi), I decided I really had to do it up.

Somewhere along the way, this vision of some sort of Linda Evangelista-esque teenage snob came into my head, like some snotty ice queen who goes to private school and vacations on a yacht in the summer and dresses like she's, like, 30, with pearl earrings and pencil skirts, and smokes really skinny cigarettes.

I opted for a very slick, side-parted-with-a-fine-toothed comb, tucked-behind-the-ears hairstyle which felt very on-point with the length of my new cut, and looked killer with my creeping-vine vintage earrings I bought at the Brooklyn Flea last December.

But let's talk about the makeup.

I started with my eyes because I wanted them extra smoulder-y, and I wanted to be able to clean up any mistakes or smudges before getting to my concealer and whatnot. So yeah, fun tip! If you plan on wearing a lot of eye makeup, put that on first.

I used SENNA Cosmetics Totally Transforming Eyeshadow Primer in Light to set the right canvas for my shadow to adhere to. I like this primer because it has a tacky texture that holds colour fantastically, and it really smoothes out your lids and makes your eyes look awake. If you were in a pinch, you could just blend this into your lids and apply a coat of mascara in the mornings and you'd look bright-eyed and lovely.

After that, I smudged Yves Rocher Creamy Kohl into my upper lash line to really fill it in and give it a smoky effect. I blended that up slightly into my lid before applying a dark, sparkly shadow with a bit of shimmer up to the crease with a densely packed shadow brush. I actually used a black with gold flecks from the Urban Decay Theodora Palette, but if you want an individual shadow in a similar shade, try MAC Eye Shadow in Smut, a "muted black with red shimmer." Then, I used a larger, fluffier shadow brush to go over that and blend it into the crease to make it really "smoky."

The final touch was to curl my lashes and add multiple coats of Trish McEvoy High Volume Mascara, which has a super-thin brush that coats every lash with smudge-proof "tubes" that thicken and lengthen and just all-around make your lashes look awesome.

A "strong red lip" is what I would call this if it were a print article, but here I'll say I threw on some bright effing lipstick in a classic shade, Revlon Super Lustrous Lipstick Creme in Fire and Ice. It's a good mid-tone red with a touch of orange.

I also smudged a bit of the lipstick into my cheeks for some flush, and then dusted Yves Saint Laurent Terre Saharienne Bronzing Powder onto my cheekbones, along my jawline, on my temples and the tip of my nose to give that hint of an "I've been on vacation--forever" feeling.

I suppose the sprinkles on the cake, though, were the multiple tiny flatback Swarovski crystals I applied in a smattering along my chest. Sort of a makeshift necklace. I consider my shoulders and collarbone to be my best body part and I couldn't leave that area unadorned, so I made myself shimmer like a unicorn because bitch, I might be.

If you want to try the look, pick up some crystals at the craft store and apply them with eyelash glue wherever you please. Super-easy but slightly time-consuming, they also look great along the lashline.

OK, and one more thing: I want to thank you all for being continuously awesome. You don't know how much it means to hear feedback from you, even if it's negative. It means you're reading, and paying attention, and that means a lot. I'm sure I speak on behalf of the entire staff when I say how grateful I feel to have such an amazing community on this website in the short time we've been online. Whether you came here from xoJane.com or you discovered us in another way, thank you. Truly, madly, deeply.

Haha, now that song is stuck in your head.

But really, you guys, I wanna stand with you on a mountain. Xoxox.