Its Saturday and I just woke up at 2:30pm. I still have my Spanx, disco shorts and halter from the night before on.
On days like this, I question my sanity. From Monday to Friday, 9-5, i am a legal assistant for a public interest law firm. On Tuesday from 12ish-4am and again on Friday from 12ish-6am I work hard to make sure that I a) look like a fantasy b) have fun c) ensure that the sea of partygoers looking to loose themselves of the city’s stresses do just the same.
From editing briefs and sending ups packages to picking out an aeon-flux inspired outfit to work the room in, it’s a masochistic bizarre double life.
If there’s anything that bears the grunt of a long night of dancing in 7-inch heels, double-kissing until my blush is nearly gone, and forgetting to count the number of tequila sodas I’ve consumed, it’s my skin. and as much as I’d like to ritualistically prepare my skin for sleep with a cute wash and makeup removal session, when a girl has got to pass out, ain't nobody got time for foaming scrub and astringent.
Needless to say, I woke up partially clothed from the night before and in a full face. The subtle afternoon light of my room sort of made me feel like i was living some sort of "Oh I just woke up with my makeup from last night and it happens to look amazing in a demure disposable camera type of way" until i looked closer and realized that I needed to thank my skin and give it the attention I had neglected before pores clogged and raised, dark spots loomed and breakouts occurred.
Luckily, this situation is nothing new to me and I have a quick routine to gift my skin the love and care that I was too busy to give it during the week (and especially last night):
Purge and Detoxify
Lemon Water is an AMAZING first step to recovering your skin (and body generally). It’s a diuretic, which promotes urination, evacuation of toxins from your body, and works wonders for eliminating bloating. It also promotes liver function, helping you get rid of any alcohol in your system as well as promoting digestion. I use the cheap lemon juice from concentrate you can get at pretty much any store that sells food or beverages –- real lemons are even better.
The next thing is getting rid of all of the oils, make-up, etc that are clogging your precious pores and although a face wash is cute, I swear by hard, intense exfoliation by scrubbing if you really want to liberate your skin. St. Ives Apricot Scrub followed by Aveda’s Skin Refiner usually does the trick for me.
This step is obvious –- I always make sure I use a wash that has salicylic acid in it, as this generally kills the bacteria that causes breakouts and restricts pore size, preventing further clogging and making your skin look tighter. I use CVS foaming scrub (not actually a scrub BTW).
So if you REALLY want to get your skin back to square one, a mask is necessary, and the stronger the better. I swear by Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay. I realize it sounds like an over-priced "natural alternative" made in Woodstock, but this mask will literally change your life. It essentially really fine, extremely dry calcium bentonite clay, which when mixed with apple cider vinegar dries on your face and, in the process, literally sucks the impurities from your skin.
You can actually feel your skin moving as the clay dries and cracks into large pieces that have trapped all of the toxins from your skin. It sort of hurts a little at the end, but when you see your face after you’ll GAG.
This may be my obsessive tendencies coming out, but I feel like it can’t hurt to have REALLY rejuvenated skin, so I do a quick wipe-down with an astringent. I use Earth Science Clarifying Herbal Astringent, because unlike most commercial astringents, its generally easy on the skin.
Finally, I moisturize my face with Eucerin.
When you first put it on, you’ll look really greasy and shiny. Don’t worry, as your skin will quickly absorb the moisture. My dermatologist friend told me about this as an alternative to overpriced anti-aging face creams. It is AMAZING.
My skin feels so good right now its sort of terrifying to think that I’ll be going out again tonight. I’ll try and be better this time.