Courtney Love is like my own personal brand of heroin! Also, I'm bloody again and there are "Twilight" hair tools now.

That's TWILIGHT reference; NO, I don't do heroin. Anyway, isn't cool that I look like I just ate a dog?

Oct 31, 2011 at 9:00am | Leave a comment

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Just a refresher – in this picture I am wearing the same fake blood by Make Up For Ever that I wrote about on Friday. I am also attempting to flash some sort of gang sign. Oh man; I’m losing it.

This is also the closest you're going to get to seeing the dark hair that I keep bitching about but not quite fixing, so...enjoy that.

Well, I don’t really have anything to write about that’s constructive for any of you, beauty wise, because I’ve been having a hard time lately and surely it shows in my writing from last week. So I haven’t been thinking about beauty. I’ve been making Julie think about beauty instead. It’s what beauty assistants are for.

I haven’t been doing anything but sleeping all day and being up all night (VAMPIRE STEEZ!) and sometimes writing, and the worst thing of it – well, besides the ongoing issue of mental deterioration; mwahahaha -- was that I slept through Jane inviting me over to Courtney Love’s house not once, but twice! Do you die? I die a little bit every time I think about it.

Anyway, hopefully a time will come again when I get to go to Courtney’s. I worship (our columnist!) Courtney Love. There is no more electric brain on the planet, to me. I love a pop culture glamour zoomy brain, so there you go. You probably worship other people. To each her own.

Those of you who might argue that Jane is the worst boss in the world for inviting me to Courtney Love’s house in the middle of a breakdown of sorts, also know that she totally has been also helping me research health care solutions of various kinds. She gives me all sorts of options of things to do! Jane Pratt: the best/worst boss in the world. Hate in the comments section, haters. We all know you love to.

What was I writing about? Oh, right – myself (always the answer to this question, natch), blood and gore, celebrity-worship, imaginary dog-eating. Let’s move on, then, to vampires. Happy Halloween! 

Let's start with nails:

These are by the amazing Rémy Law; you remember her from last week and Bambi nails and Fourth of July nails and here again. She used Sally Hansen Nail Art Pens, which rule even if you suck at doing nails like I do. The fang necklace is by her roommate Hannah June, who does cool laser-cut stuff and has an Etsy account here you have to check out. Hannah works for Pamela Love, who is the hottest and glammest jewelery designer in the world right now. Sorry the picture isn't bigger; I don't know what my problem is. S a D, computers.

Anyway. More vampire stuff: There are Twilight hair tools! Summit Entertainment will literally slap the Twilight name on anything, I guess, but I imagine they are very good. After all, that cutie Bella was such a tousled little brunette vision in the first movie. I haven’t seen any of the others. Have you? I want to.

Hold on; I have to go wash off this fake blood from my chin. I’m worried it’s breaking me out.

Okay, here are the Twilight tools:

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Buy ‘em, Twihards! There’s also older Twilight beauty products that came out a few years ago. I think that the funniest one (and yet also the most wearable, and appealing) is the glittery body potion, Twilight Luna First Light Body Glow, that you put all over yourself to twinkle and gleam like Edward Cullen when the sun hits him and his spray-on abs:

No, the product itself is nothing that strippers and red carpet-lurking celebrities haven’t been smearing all over their clavicles since the dawn of time, but how clever of the Twilight people to design and market such a thing? It's $34. Knock yourself out.

Anyway, how’s your Halloween going? Anything spooky going on?

P.S. Oh, it also snowed in New York this weekend and I slept through that and that was annoying. 

Cat's on Twitter; holler.