BEAUTY PRODUCTS TO PULL YOU OUT OF YOUR AUTUMNAL IDENTITY CRISIS

I feel like Britney Spears in that scene from her documentary “Britney: For the Record” (which I watch once a week) when she was all, “I used to be a cool chick.” I FEEL you, B.

Nov 13, 2012 at 3:30pm | Leave a comment

Hey, hotties. I love autumn and all, but these last few months have NOT been it for me. It’s been weird! All month long, I’ve been working too much and partying a little too hard and, at the same time, not nearly hard enough. Can a boy get some balance in his life?

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I have been feeling PENSIVE for no reason at all. I feel like Britney Spears in that scene from her documentary “Britney: For the Record” (which I watch once a week) when she was all, “I used to be a cool chick.” I FEEL you, B.  

When all seems lost, I turn to my higher power: beauty products. The following products are the products that I break out less for their immediate cosmetic benefits and more because they will make me FEEL good.

The entire Satsuma line from The Body Shop. Omg.

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I want to cover my body in every Satsuma product ever for the rest of my life until the day that I die forever and ever, amen. What is a satsuma, you ask? It’s essentially a cross between a mandarin and a tangerine. The scent is vibrant and JUICY -- I honestly salivate whenever I smell it. The bright, tangy burst of citrus is enough to snap you out of any mood, especially the one I’ve been in lately.  

I’m currently using their Satsuma Hand Soap. I know that HAND SOAP isn’t the most interesting thing to write about, but the smell is so phenom that I just have to. Satsuma is one of the Body Shop’s signature scents so it also comes in body wash, body polish, body butter and even home fragrance oils. OMG, I should buy the home fragrance oils. We all should.

Sally Hansen Salon Manicure Cuticle Eraser and Balm.

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I hate the word “balm,” ew. But I love this product! Bad cuticles are like a bad relationship: if you ignore the problem, it’s only going to get worse. I’ll let you bask in that for a second.

No, really. I have the worst cuticles. They’re always dry and rock hard, and once they get to that point, it’s almost impossible to repair them. Until now! So this BALM rubs into your cuticles and gently removes excess skin and hangnails. The pairing of white tea and cucumber also moisturizes the shit out of your fingertips and nails, which is a major plus. I had wanted to pick up this product for a while -- but now that the weather has cooled off, my skin is starting to dry out and I wanted to start using this before things really took a turn for the worst.  

Now my fingers are soft and my cuticles are clean which makes me a little less insane. I try to apply it once a day, preferably before I hop in bed, which is when I slather up in a bunch of other moisturizers so I’m EXTRA TOUCHABLE, even down to my cuticles. Ya heard?

Bioelements Decongestant Cleanser!

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Until about a year or two ago, I really didn’t take great care of my face. Why?  Because I’m a dumbass. It’s a shame that this decent complexion was wasted on someone who took it for granted for so long.  But I have learned the error of my ways, and now will spend a little extra time and money to ensure that my mug looks right. It’s that or Botox.

So, I love this cleanser for a few reasons. One, it’s a gel-based cleanser, instead of cream based (crème?). I just seem to gravitate to products that are gel based, they make me feel cleaner and less oily with less residue left behind. Two, it’s gentle, but it still feels like it’s working and not just sitting there lazily on the top layer of your skin. (Your EPIDERMIS! SAY!)  

And last, a little bit goes a long way with this product, which is nice because it isn’t exactly the cheapest thing on the market. Two little half pumps and your whole face is covered and squeaky clean.

I was already using a good cleanser, but the difference between my old one and this one is visible. My skin looks brighter, more clear, and healthier from the minute I rinse, all the way to when I pass out at the end of the day.

So, how are YOU coping with fall? To add to my unnecessary anxiety, Madison has been drowning in a dense fog for the last two days, which would be cool except I feel like someone is always just about to leap out of the mist and rob me blind! Wanna see the lake I live across from which is now covered in an ominous and foreboding fog?

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So, what products to you guys go to when you’re having an identity crisis? I know you’ve got some, so SHARE! I’m probably falling apart on Twitter, too.

Tynan: For The Record -- @TynanBuck.

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