It's gonna get sappy up in here.
Like any girl with a mouth, I enjoy tacos and I love lipstick. So imagine my delight upon finding a new-to-the-market lip color with which I can partake in both, simultaneously! The modern woman truly CAN have it all.
From what corner of the Earth comes such highly pigmented sorcery, you ask? Well, a kind of unexpected corner, above your eyes. WHAT AM I EVEN TALKING ABOUT? I DON’T KNOW THESE LIPSTICKS ARE SO GOOD AND I JUST WANT TO SHOW YOU THEM.
What I’m trying to say is Queen of the Arch, She Whose Client List Reads Like the President’s Little Black Book, the woman responsible for Kim K’s selfie smize, Amal Clooney’s red-carpet side eye, and freaking OPRAH’s face, Anastasia Beverly Hills herself now has a line of Liquid Lipsticks and they're good. HG good. The closest thing I’ll get to liquid gold good. So good that when I wear them, I don’t even need to fill in my eyebrows (somewhere in Brentwood, a ghostly chill just ran down Anastasia’s spine).
I tried four of the 20 shades: Sweet Talker, Sad Girl, Bloodline, and Heathers. Each applies intensely pigmented color with a tiny swipe. They also feel delightfully silky on the lips — almost weightless. I always apply lipstick straight from the bullet, so this was a brand new sensation for me. But I imagine if you’re used to lip brushes, it won’t be too dissimilar.
The finish (except for Sad Girl, which contains very fine glitter flecks) is perfectly, impossibly matte. And the wear is truly long-lasting. Bloodline lasted hours through a Valentine’s Day feast of Taco Bell and Goose Island IPA, as well as, um, other things grownups do to celebrate Valentine’s Day. (That’s right, an entire box of dark chocolate!)
Sweet Talker is a shocking, mid-tone pink and the only one of the four that required a couple passes to achieve peak opacity levels. I was going for a high-tilt, Nicki Minaj level of Valentino pink.
Sad Girl is so pretty. It doesn’t hurt that I’m in love with the Lana Del Rey song of the same name (stay tuned for my think piece on the genuine cultural import of Lana, a.k.a. me after three beers always). I’m slightly biased as the color is one of my signatures. Pretty much every formal I went to in high school had me in a dress of this color.
It also reminds me a lot of MAC’s Rebel (my first mind-blowing lipstick experience) except minus the sheen, plus a touch of glitter, and with ease of application and pigment amplified. Same color family, is what I’m saying.
The reddest of the reds offered in the Liquid Lipstick line, Bloodline is aptly named. This is some Gwen Stefani-approved (probably) high-octane red. This is the one I feel most comfortable just swiping on and heading out the door without brows or lashes or concealer because it’s instant glam in a bottle, and will definitely last through a greasy breakfast and a nap.
Heathers is a deep, cool red; if Bloodline is freshly spilled blood, this one is from yesterday’s kill. It is the most matte, and probably the driest, although I really wouldn’t categorize any of these as drying. It’s just not messing around. It’s also really hard to wear without major attitude and your best “fuck me gently with a chainsaw” face.
In an effort to come up with something negative to say about these so this doesn’t read like infomercial copy, I realized this line is lacking. After trying on and removing with olive oil and a washcloth, in quick succession, four Liquid Lipsticks, I was really pleased with the color of plumpness of my naked lips — and this color is missing from Anastasia’s line. I would TOTALLY buy this!