Age: 29Twitter: @BeeswriteWhat I Do, Job-wise: Freelance Writer, Double Agent, Master of Fake Fashion @lookalikelooks What I Do, Fun-wise: Cook, engage my cats in heady conversation, and perform subpar sexy dances to Hall and Oates My Motto: From a medieval German jousting shield (because I am the dork queen) "Even though the other birds don't like me, still I quite enjoy myself." My Anti-Motto: Nothing tastes as good as skinny feelsThe First Movie Star I Ever Had A Crush On: Kevin Sorbo. No regrets. My “celebs to make out with” list: Michael Keaton (my dream man is probably a fusion of Beetlejuice and Batman. I'm aware this doesn't bode well and am working on it), Mike Rowe, and Portia De Rossi.The Most Played Song On My iTunes: Boyz In Da Hood - NWA Last Book I Read Without Skimming Any Parts: "Little Children," Tom PerrottaMy Most Worn Item of Clothing: Do glasses count? They count. And it is my glasses. Beauty Products That I Hoard: Fresh's entire Brown Sugar collection, Lush's Ocean Salt, and Bliss's Minty Super Scrub Bar Thing! I smell like: Marc Jacob's Cucumber perfume...and a cigarette, sadly. I Have Faked An Orgasm (Yes/No): No, and I don't laugh when something isn't funny either.
Another TSA Agent Shames Another Woman For Wearing Clothes, Plus My Own Effed-Up Sexist Flying Story 126
I HATE EVERYONE: 5 Things That Cheer Me Up When I Am Being A Jerk 103
That Plus Size Model Meme Is Terrible: A Stranger's Body Is Not Yours To Judge, Internet! 88
IT'S A PANDEMIC: Half of all Dudes Can't Use A Washing Machine 164
5 Things To Buy To Distract Yourself When You Find Out Your Son Has Been Texting Unwanted Pics Of His D#%k 82
HELP: All My House Plants Are Dying And I'm Taking It Personally 168
Gay Raincoats: Porn's Most-Searched Words 30
I Found My Teenaged Journal And It Is The Worst 91
xoSHAME: I'm Almost 30 And I Just Got My Driver's License 199
A FUNERAL, And Four Other Terrible Places To Go On A First Date 54
"You Read Too Many Books": I Sent Guys On OKCupid The Types Of Messages They Send Me 224
I'M MELTiNG: Your Sunscreen Is Expired and Murdery 114
"Your Vagina is Repulsive" And Other Offers of Conditional Love You Should Reject 411
Pot Will Make You Thin Says Science: Here Are 5 Other Alternative Diets That Probably Won't 176
Don't Touch The Vinyl: I'm Worried I'm A Hipster 160
It Happened To Me: My Online Dating Profile Inspired A Whole Forum Thread Dedicated To What A Whore I Am
A Third Of The People Who Attended My Wedding Didn't Give Me A Gift -- What's Up With That?
Maggie Lite of The Frisky
Here's Your Weekend Open Thread, My Sweetpeas!
It Happened to Me: I Was Raped at Disney World And Nobody Cared
I Wish Women Would Stop Acting Like Straight Bitches About Short Dudes
It Happened To Me: I Accidentally Went On Date With A Presumed-Gay Canadian C-List Celebrity Who Creepily Proved He Isn't Gay
10 Uniquely Awesome Things About Living In The South
Winona Dimeo-Ediger of The Frisky
xoJane.com is where women go when they are being selfish, and where their selfishness is applauded.
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