Claire Lower is snobby-snob-snob who approaches complete strangers in bars to tell them that they are drinking the wrong beer. Why drink Miller Lite when there is Bell’s Two Hearted Ale to be had? She is a “scientist” with a B.S. in chemistry who fancies herself a home-brewer and food blogger. There is not a lot of proof to support either fancy. Claire lives with her husband, two spoiled dogs, and robot-cat in the Tampa Bay area. You can read about what she eats at noreplicators.com. If that doesn’t annoy you, you might want to see what she’s tweeting by following @clairelizzie.

Claire feels really weird about writing this whole thing in third person.

Age: 26 

Twitter: @clairelizzie

What I Do, Job-wise: Mix chemicals together. 

What I Do, Fun-wise: Brew some beer, bake some cakes…Drink and eat beer and cakes…write about drinking and eating beer and cakes.

My Motto: "I would eat that."

My Anti-Motto: "Mick Jagger is too old for me to make out with.”

The First Movie Star I Ever Had A Crush On: Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

My “celebs to make out with” list: Mick Jagger, Chuck Klosterman, Bill Murray, Geoffrey Zakarian

The Most Played Song On My iTunes: Gimme Shelter – The Rolling Stones

Last Book I Read Without Skimming Any Parts: The Hobbit…

My Most Worn Item of Clothing: Jeans and converse…I work in a lab…I have no choice.

Beauty Products That I Hoard: Anything free and those eos lip balms that come in a sphere. 

I smell like: This really nice soap that my husband bought me in San Francisco…I could go upstairs to my bathroom and get the name…but who has the time?

I Have Faked An Orgasm (Yes/No): Only to prove (to myself) that I could…I was alone.