Recently, for an important meeting, I wore what I thought looked professional: a beige sweater set, a black straight skirt, and pearls. But I felt like a douchebag.
fashion
farting
Whatever people see me doing, they assume that it is representative of all Chassidic Jews, of all sects, now and forever.
dishes
Why it is possible for drones to do dirty work in battle, but there is not a machine that can clean the whole house yet?
clothes
I don't have to worry if my clavicles gleam like Kate Moss's, because the collar of my shirt covers them. I don't have to compare my thighs to Gwyneth Paltrow's, since I cover them with a properly fitting skirt that covers my knees.
food
Before I ate the pizza, I was content and generally rocking out at life. By pizza meal number three, I was convinced that I was the biggest professional failure to ever grace the blog-o-sphere.
healthy
Keeping the Sabbath means that there is one day a week during which I cannot brush my teeth.
marriage
How is it possible to marry someone without a test drive of ye olde chemistry? What if he turned out to be a slobbery kisser and a dead fish, and I was stuck with him for life?
green
I feel like a bit of a tool shed, you know, not caring how much solid waste I am piling into landfills.
bleach
I won't eat pizza slices with toppings other than plain cheese because I think that the vegetables could harbor more pathogens than plain cheese pizza. I know. It's kind of bonkers.
advice
When I was starting to become religious, the most common question I got was, "So does that mean you are going to wear a wig?"
culture
When you slam Orthodox Jews because you think you're defending or somehow liberating the women of our communities, you're actually doing us a huge disservice.
body odor
Chemical deodorant allows us to feel like superior beings -- like people who have the power to transcend our grody natures. It's a smidge of enlightenment packaged in a plastic tube.
