Age: 29Twitter: @BeeswriteWhat I Do, Job-wise: Freelance Writer, Double Agent, Master of Fake Fashion @lookalikelooks What I Do, Fun-wise: Cook, engage my cats in heady conversation, and perform subpar sexy dances to Hall and Oates My Motto: From a medieval German jousting shield (because I am the dork queen) "Even though the other birds don't like me, still I quite enjoy myself." My Anti-Motto: Nothing tastes as good as skinny feelsThe First Movie Star I Ever Had A Crush On: Kevin Sorbo. No regrets. My “celebs to make out with” list: Michael Keaton (my dream man is probably a fusion of Beetlejuice and Batman. I'm aware this doesn't bode well and am working on it), Mike Rowe, and Portia De Rossi.The Most Played Song On My iTunes: Boyz In Da Hood - NWA Last Book I Read Without Skimming Any Parts: "Little Children," Tom PerrottaMy Most Worn Item of Clothing: Do glasses count? They count. And it is my glasses. Beauty Products That I Hoard: Fresh's entire Brown Sugar collection, Lush's Ocean Salt, and Bliss's Minty Super Scrub Bar Thing! I smell like: Marc Jacob's Cucumber perfume...and a cigarette, sadly. I Have Faked An Orgasm (Yes/No): No, and I don't laugh when something isn't funny either.
CRUSHED: My Love Affair With A Bathroom 59
5 Signs Your Friends Might Think You're Tougher Than You Are 72
DISPATCHES FROM THE PROZAC RABBIT HOLE: I'm Learning That I Don't Need To Share My Every Thought On Social Media Anymore 26
CRUSHED: I Miss The Insufferable And Earnest Confidence Of Being 9 Years Old And In Love With Yourself 52
DISPATCHES FROM THE PROZAC RABBIT HOLE: I Don't Want To Fight With My Food Anymore 54
CRUSHED: That Time My Mom Set Me Up With The Boy I Liked In 2nd Grade 44
DISPATCHES FROM THE PROZAC RABBIT HOLE: I Forgot My Pills & I'm Trying Not To Freak Out 45
5 Of The World's Most Criminally Underrated Chocolate Bars 265
CRUSHED: Do You Remember The First Time You Broke Someone's Heart? 66
DISPATCHES FROM THE PROZAC RABBIT HOLE: I've Become A Person Who Is Late To Everything All The Time 68
5 Nasty-Ass Foods That I Will Never Stop Eating 383
DISPATCHES FROM THE PROZAC RABBIT HOLE: I 'Like' Someone! 39
CRUSHED: My First Love Was A Cursing, Snot-Eating, Kindergarten Bully 48
10 Over-The-Top Romance Songs That Tell Your (Extremely Specific) Love Story 69
DISPATCHES FROM THE PROZAC RABBIT HOLE: On Letting Go And Dancing At My Sister's Wedding 50
Dear White Gay Men, We’re Not Done Here: Thoughts on Cultural Appropriation
What YOU Taught Us About Style This Week: I'm Really Not Fascinated Anymore
Dear Service Industry, 9 Times Out of 10, Would You Please Keep Your Comments to Yourself?
UNPOPULAR OPINION: My Dog Is Not a Rescue, and I’m Not Sorry
At 31, I'm Finally Old Enough That People Can Accuse Me of "Aging Badly" On the Internet
I'm Estranged From My Mother -- But I'm OK With It
The xoJane Staff Are Showing You Our Real-Life Unprepared Unphotoshopped Unashamed Swimsuit Bodies -- And We Want To See Yours Too
xoJane.com is where women go when they are being selfish, and where their selfishness is applauded.
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