I Used This BreakUpText App On A Bunch Of People I Know, And Man Does This App Suck At Breaking Up

I need to create a rival app stat. Because I am so much better at this.
Publish date:
July 23, 2013

Twitter led me to this new app that lets you breakup with people.

Because I didn't want to screw with people I was actually dating, I decided to screw with my friends instead.

Now, let me walk you through this 99-cent app, which is definitely not worth a penny more.

Here, I'll save you the buck.

It's as easy as 1, 2, 3.

Once you've done this super mini Choose Your Own Breakup-venture, there are three break-up text messages that get sent out.

I proceeded to send them to Annie K, Marci Robin and my friend Court Lilly, a comedy writer. Annie ignored me. (Duh.) Marci checked Twitter and was onto me. (Double duh.) And Court screwed with me right back.

So, what does all this teach me?

I'm so much better at breaking up than this app. Here is my magical language. Ready?

"I enjoyed our time together, but I've given this a lot of thought, and I don't think we're a fit. I wish you so much luck in your search. Best, Mandy"

Works every time. (Warning: I have never used this on an actual relationship, just people who I have gone on a single online date with. Still. It works!)

What do you do? What's your "it's not you, it's me" speech? Anyone want to become an app developer with me?


Find Mandy long-form at http://tinyurl.com/stadtmiller.