My friend Amy mentioned that I might try a method advocated by a flamboyant Russian hairdresser we both worked for over a decade ago: no sex before you’ve gone on 10 dates or he has spent $1,000 on you.
To me, “best friend” insinuates that the friendship is some sort of competition and that the prize of winning is owning someone and being owned by someone.
Before I became a parent, I admit I thought plunking a small child down in front of the TV seemed kind of mean. And after: sometimes I thank the universe for children’s programming on PBS.
As a child, I cheated at Battleship. I also stole Monopoly money when no one was looking, “miscounted” spaces so I would climb up a ladder instead of sliding down a shoot, and opened my eyes during Marco Polo.