Things I’ve Done at a Football Game (Not All Of Which I'm Proud)

Here's hoping the fact that I break the "Fan Code of Conduct" on a weekly basis qualifies me to write about sports.
Publish date:
May 16, 2011
football, costumes, 49ers, bad behavior

In an effort to give you an idea of what you can expect from me, the resident Sports Girl, I decided to make a list that might give you an idea of what a passionate, rabid and oftentimes inappropriate fan I can be. This list doesn’t cover it all, so you should also know that I’m a die-hard member of the 49ers Faithful and loyal SF Giants’ fan, but that doesn’t mean I’ll only be writing about those teams. “Sports” is a huge topic (she says, even though, duh, you already knew that), and I’m not going to pretend I’m an expert about it all, but I’m going to write about it anyway and hopefully we’ll all learn a little something and have a few laughs along the way.

And now, with no further ado:

Things I’ve Done at a Football Game (Not All of Which I'm Proud)

-- Dressed up like an Indian the Sunday before Thanksgiving. (Learned that if you don’t have a pilgrim sidekick, no one will understand your costume and will instead assume you are a Redskins fan even though you’re at a 49ers game and they’re not playing the Redskins.

-- Almost gotten my ass kicked. (At Veteran’s Stadium. In the bathroom. By five girls. And probably a few other times besides that.)

-- Drunkenly climbed over seats. (Only to fall down, twist my ankle and procure a bruise on my thigh that successfully turned every color of the rainbow.)

-- Cried. (More than once.)

-- Dressed up in a Santa costume. (This one went over slightly better than the Indian. Most likely because of the thigh-high striped stockings and garter belt.)

-- Thrown beer on an Eagles’ fan. (I am not proud of this, but I want you to know that I’ll always be honest with you. Even when I’m a complete ass. Although, to be fair, I did immediately offer to pay for his dry cleaning. Even though he was wearing a wife beater. NOT THAT THAT MAKES IT OKAY.)

-- Gotten stoned. (I was 18. I was so stoned that I actually forgot I went to that game, a playoff game, nonetheless. Also, I feel you should know, I no longer smoke The Pot. Not that I judge you if you do, except just a little bit.)

-- Worn my hair in pigtails. (Stupid, Daisy. Pigtails are not cute on grown women.)

-- Been called a cnt. (I probably deserved it, but not gonna lie: it still hurt my feelings.)

-- Exchanged phone numbers with a dude. While on a date with another dude. (“Another dude” was in the bathroom and, yes, I get that it wasn’t very nice of me. “A dude” did take me to "The Lion King" on Broadway, though. Back when that was a popular show that was impossible to get tickets for. So, I mean, kind of worth it, right?)

-- Been asked by the six-year-old season ticket holder in front of me why I never wear dresses. (Wore a dress the next week; his family didn’t show up that day. Of course.)

-- Hugged strangers. (Keep in mind, I don’t even hug my own family.)

So, yeah, that about sums it up. The good, the bad and the you may never think of me the same way again. If you have any sports-related (or not) questions or suggestions for things you want me to write about, shoot me an email: I'm here for you.