If I added up the time I spend watching football, researching players, and writing weekly fantasy recaps for my league, it would probably be at least a part-time job.
Occasionally something will be invented and my first thought will be, “How is it possible that no one thought of this sooner?” I'm not talking about things like electricity or vaccines (yawn), I’m talking about the really important stuff. You know, things like:
- Bendy straws
- Flip-flops with a bottle opener on the sole
- The Slinky (Metal only. Plastic Slinkys are for savages.)
- The wine saver (not that I ever have any left to save, but in theory: great invention!)
- Shellac manicures
- Caller ID (Bye bye stalkers!)
- Beer cozies
- Laser hair removal (Worth every penny. Fact.)
- The morning after pill vending machine
- Tear-away pants
Well, you get the picture…
Anyway, that “A-ha" moment I felt when I first discovered all of those life-changing things is exactly how I felt yesterday when Emily linked me to an article about the FIRST-EVER female foosball table.
I know, right? It seems so obvious. And yet, until now, if you wanted to play foosball, you had to do so with male players. Thanks to the Spanish company RS Barcelona, however, male domination (at least with table football) is on its way out.
According to the company website, “Ella” as she’s been named, plays just as hard as the boys do.
“She has been carved like the image and likeness of her male partner. The exact proportions but with more curves. Her game is as precise and her shot as powerful as the men’s. On this pitch there are no more obvious physical differences. She and he play under the same conditions. Complete equality.”
And when they say "more curves," wow, do they mean it. All I can say is, I hope she has on a good sports bra.
Who says you can't play hard AND wear red lipstick? Also, her white shorts kind of remind me of a tampon commercial.
Considering girls make up about 40 percent of the American Youth Soccer Organization and, according to FIFA President Joseph S. Blatter, “women’s football has become more global” than ever before, it seems like a foosball table that represents the better (fine: other) half, is long overdue.
Not sure I can see this particular version at my local bar...
Oh, and don’t worry. It comes in other colors besides pink. Thank god. Just because I’m a chick doesn’t mean I also have a terrible taste. Unless, of course, you count appreciating things like bottle openers in flip-flops. Which, fine: you probably should.
So tell me: Do you think these all-girl foosball tables will end up at a bar near you? Also: which silly invention could you not live without? Edible underwear? Anyone?