Confession: I'm Obsessed with Cheesy Musicals

So thank god "Bring It On: The Musical" just came to town. I've been a bit down and it was exactly what I needed to, ahem, cheer myself up. (Sorry, Jane. I can't help it!)

Dec 16, 2011 at 4:00pm | Leave a comment

OK. In order to fully grasp what I'm about to say, first there are a few things you should know about me.

1. I love almost every Broadway musical ever. When I was traveling through Europe at the age of 18, the “Les Miserable” soundtrack was one of 10 tapes I brought with me. Yes, I said tapes. I am that old. I still call my iPod my “Walkman” sometimes because not only am I old, I’m also stubborn.

Anyway, back to Les Mis. My best friend and I were in Paris for a week staying at her family’s apartment (which we had to ourselves). What did we do during that week? Got stoned and sang along to Les Mis, obvi. Seriously: We would cue our Les Mis tapes up to the same place, put our headphones on, and then sing along at the top of our lungs.

We did leave the apartment to get McDonald’s fried apple pies (the kind they stopped selling in the States) and to see “The Craft.” After “The Craft,” we went home and dressed up like witches and took bong hits. That’s right: I brought a bong with me on my tour around Europe.

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2. There was a time in my life where I said, “If I could see RENT every single night, I would.” And I meant it. I think I still do. I often lament that I’m not Latina because obviously that is the only thing standing between me and being cast in the role of Mimi. NO DAY LIKE TODAY, BITCHES!

3. The best date I’ve ever been on was when a guy (a hilarious and awesome guy whose blog you should read) took me to see High School Musical. ON ICE. The second best date I’ve ever been on was when that same guy came over and we watched High School Musical. One, Two, and Three. “We’re soaaaaaaring. Flyyyyyyying.” Seriously.

4. My favorite thing to do when I come home drunk (and alone) is get in bed with my Walkman, put my headphones in, and sing along to the “Wicked” soundtrack at the top of my lungs. I also like to do this while driving to Tahoe (also with “Rent” and “High School Musical”). And yes, I sing every part. Did you even have to ask?

5. I think the movie “Bring It On” is a must-see. With quotes like "Let's not put the 'duh' in dumb," I think you can see why. Also: I totally have the song that Cliff writes for Torrence on my Walkman/iPod thingamabob.

Now that we’ve gotten all of that out of the way, you’ll understand why I’m so excited that on Wednesday night I got to go to the San Francisco opening of… wait for it:

Bring It On: THE MUSICAL!!!!

(Caps, underline, and exclamation points are mine.)

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Look. I love a play that tackles sobering topics and profound issues as much as the next girl. Actually, probably a whole lot more than the next girl. When I lived in New York, you could often find me at the theater all by myself since no one else ever seemed to want to go with me. I really appreciate complex characters, mesmerizing dialogue, thoughtful sets and well-designed costumes.

But what I appreciate even more is that "Bring It On: The Musical" has none of those.

No. "Bring It On" isn’t serious theater. It’s eye-candy, junk food, guilty pleasure theater. And it’s totally worth it.

Super cheesy, super catchy songs are paired with hold-your-breath high-flying acrobatics. The plot line is totally saccharine, but whatever: It’s also TOTALLY entertaining. (Save for the love story plotline, which was awkward, but also allowed for a song with a hundred Grateful Dead references that gave me a serious case of the giggles. Well, that and the glass of champagne I chugged during intermission.)

And sure, it’s a bit predictable (rich, white girl gets “redistricted” and has to go to the inner-city school where she learns important life lessons and makes new friends), but who cares? It’s super fun. SUPER!

(Also, note to the girls who were sitting directly behind me and provided a running commentary for the entire show: Having a school with black people and a metal detector in a musical isn’t RACIST. You saying it’s racist, however…)

Let me put it this way. If you love to hate to love “The Real Housewives,” know all the best quotes from “Mean Girls,” sing along to Katy Perry on the radio, and get that the best part of being smart is that you don’t always have to do things that are considered smart, then you’ll totally enjoy this show. I mean, you like smiling, right? RIGHT.

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Personally, I've had a million hectic and crazy things going on in my life and, as hard as I try, I've been unable to quiet the anxiety chatter. I really needed a night of carefree silliness and that's exactly what I got. I bet most of you could use a little of that, too. AMIRITE?

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"Bring It On: The Musical" is currently on a national tour and is in San Francisco until January 7th.

Go see it. 

As for me, I’ll just be sitting here impatiently waiting for them to release the soundtrack so I can do a full drunken karaoke session in my bedroom. Neighbor of the year!

What are you favorite musicals to sing along to? Tell me in the comments. Ready? OKAY!