YOU ARE THE ADVICE COLUMNIST: Furniture May Be Ending A Promising Relationship

Mainly because I bought it from her ex, who hit on me when I bought it.
Publish date:
December 10, 2013
You Are The Advice Columnist, exes, furniture

After a few weeks of mutually really hitting-it-off with a girl (late-20's, I'm mid-30's), our dating came to a sudden halt after she discovered that I had a piece of furniture that she had bought for her ex-husband (which I promptly got rid of). Further, I had mentioned that the "seller" of the furniture seemed gay and might have been flirting with me when I bought it - and as it turns out she left him 18-months ago due to her suspicions about his preferences.

I realize the weirdness of the coincidence, and that it stoked-up old hurtful memories of her (her only) relationship. But rationally, this was her chance to make new amazing relationship memories to replace the old bad ones, and it was her who was all over me during our dates.

I've given her a few weeks of space, but now I want to reach out to her, even if it would be in the spectrum of just getting to know her better. She's very inexperienced at dating, rushes through life without allowing herself to really "feel" things anymore, and states that she is "broken in terms of men". So there are a lot of underlying issues, but beneath them I see a goldmine of an amazing woman. How should I approach this?

Any advice for this one? Ever had to deal with memories of exes ruining a good thing before it even begins? Let him know in the comments!

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