33 Things That Go Through Your Brain With a New Engagement Ring On Your Finger

2. Handjobs are going to look soooo classy now.
Publish date:
March 23, 2012
jewelry, marriage, engagement rings, diamonds, proposals

1. Whose adult lady hand is that?!?

2. Handjobs are going to look soooo classy now.

3. Do I wear this thing in the shower?

4. Holy shit, this bitch cost more than my TV.

5. I'm gonna lose it, I'm gonna lose it, I'm gonna lose it, please don't let me lose it.

6. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7. Wait, is this the right hand?

8. I can't stop looking at everybody else's hands now.

9. Do I have to start saying "fiance"? What a dweeby word.

10. How DARE that guy catcall me? Can't he see I'm ENGAGED?

11. I don't feel fixed.

12. I want leftover proposal cake.

13. Everyone is looking at it. Oh my god, it's taking over the WHOLE ROOM.

14. I never cared about diamonds before, but I guess that's because I never had a giant one on my left hand.

15. Do I wear this thing to bed?

16. I hear you talking, but all I'm thinking about is my ring.

17. Wait, I'm supposed to get it insured?

18. Does this mean I'm a

normal person

? Ugh.

19. Yup, still there.

20. Who else can I show it to?

21. How inappropriate would it be if I fucked someone else right now?

22. I like being in the bathroom because its the only time I can stare at my ring as much as I want to.

23. This is so weird.

24. Am I a grown-up now?

25. Finally, I can relax.

26. Do I wear this thing to the gym? Hahhahahhaha, like I ever go to the gym.

27. I should really get back to the gym.

28. Bwaehheheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeahhhhhhh!!!! (Roughly translated expression of overwhelming joy.)

29. Do you think anybody is jealous of me?

30. Can I get fat now or do I have to wait until after the wedding?

31. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty.

32. I am so annoying.

33. Holy shit, now I have to get married.


s is thinking stuff in real time, on Twitter.