The Only Interview That Ever Made Me Blush: "Sex Rehab'"s Phil Varone

Sexy Phil Varone shows me his penis, says he was never a sex addict. Plus, Oprah!

Jan 24, 2012 at 9:00am | Leave a comment

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So I am obsessed with any and all seasons of Dr. Drew's "Celebrity Rehab," and I want Dr. Drew to lovingly fix all my problems, perhaps by making love to me. But a few seasons ago, when DD did "Sex Rehab," I forgot about my doctor lust to become briefly obsesssed with THIS GUY:

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Skid Row and Saigon Kick drummer Phil Varone! His bio from the show page: "Phil Varone is a drummer who has played in several bands. When he first began touring, this former high school geek suddenly found himself pursued by women, and a whole new world opened up for him. He estimates that he has slept with over 3,000 women. A recovering cocaine addict, Phil's sex addiction escalated with the death of his mother 11 years ago. He desperately wants to have a committed, caring relationship, but at the same time he prefers dating multiple women, and feels that he would become bored with just one person."

Hot, right? On the show he came off as very vulnerable and endearing and like he genuinely wanted to change his life. Then I met him, at the Adult Video News Awards, where we sat down to discuss the release of his sex toy, The Dr. Philgood (NSFW!) which is cast from his own sizable member and is the first commercial dildo with a Prince Albert piercing. When I first sat down, Phil asked me if I would like to see his penis, then pulled out a very large, very realistic dildo. We have pictures (that are too dirty to run) in which it basically looks like I'm giving him a handjob.

Between my crush on him and prodding his simulated member, I was totally flustered and blushing from the word go. He said a lot of skeezy things in here, but I left them because I find it fascinating like reading "The Dirt." I should also say that at the time, his sexual charisma had actually melted my brain in such a way that these statements didn't bother me. I had to reprocess away from the source like I been brainwashed by a cult or something. I see how he's slept with 3,000 women is what I'm saying.

What is the actual process of having your penis made into a sex toy?

They use like, that dental stuff. It's cold. They put some porn on a computer. It was a little weird. I worked it over as best as I could under the pressure and then ran in there and threw the stuff on it. Then you go home and they give you like 15 different measurements to take. It's almost like tailoring a suit. I ate like 15 Viagras and almost had a heart attack but I got the biggest possible erection. It's 9 and a quarter long and 7 inches thick. I've always had the coke can. It's the first pierced dildo ever and the first rock star ever.

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When did you get the piercing?

I got it in 1996 cause a friend of mine had it. He was telling me about it, and I asked, "What does it do?" He said it enhances everything. I asked him to show it to me and it looked kind of cool. So I said, why not? I don't wear it much these days cause it's uncomfortable. The hole's there, unfortunately. I pee like a lawn sprinkler. And you also kind of have to warn people -- I have a hole there. They go down there and are like, "What the hell is that?"

I have to ask, since you're now coming out with a sex toy. Are you still in a sex recovery program?

No! I did the "Sex Rehab" show, but I don't identify as a sex addict. I was cast because I had sex with many many people. I do believe there's an actual sex addiction. Many people argue that it's not medically recognized, but AA wasn't medically proven when it first started either. However, for this show, it was kind of like, my agent called and said "OK, we have a supermodel, we have a porn star, we have a Playboy Playmate, we need a rock star." They need this cast. Do you want to do it? And I said, "Well to be on television I guess I will." That's the decision. Those shows are scripted out a certain way.

Oh no! Is it all fake?

I don't think it's all fake. But I was really disappointed in the way the producers did it. They kind of used the blueprint from the drug rehab and it didn't work.

After really learning about sex addition, I don't identify out of respect to it. I went to SA meetings cause you had to whle you were there and I was horrified. I sat there and listenined to people and was disturbed by their stories. I was like, "Wow these people really have issues." I just had sex with a bunch of groupies because I could. People don't see it as a real issue, but it really is. That's why I back away from it and say I just went on a telvision, I had sex with a bunch of women, I'm cool. I don't want to offend people who have these issues.

Did the producers know? Did Drew know?

They just kind of went with it. I love Drew, but Drew's not a sex therapist. I did a show for TLC called "Strange Sex" and they sent me to a leading sex addiction therapist in the United States. Jill from "Sex Rehab"  actually studied under this therapist. I sat down with her for an hour and she goes, "You're not a sex addict. You just wanted to have sex with a lot of different girls because you could." I said, "Yeah, I know."  She kind of verified that and so did my other therapist.

So was it hard being on the show knowing you weren't an addict?

My story on the show was that there wasn't one. They were reaching. Drew was like, "So your childhood? Were you molested?" I was like no, I had a great childhood. It was a long 3 weeks. I couldn't wait to get out of there.

My issue on the show was dealing with completely different stuff. I had to deal with my mother dying. It had nothing to do with sex. I was in a deep depression. I did tons of drugs and booze to medicate myself from my mother passing. That's what I worked on. I got great therapy. Then we had 3 months of therapy after the show that I took and got stuff off my chest. So I'm grateful. It helped me.

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You came off as very sincere.

You're in there for 3 weeks and you're basically brainshwashed. You don't see anything from the outside world. You go to these meetings. There's no television, there's no phone, no computer. There's nothing. So you're in this bubble for 3 weeks with therapists telling you this and that and what you've got to do. When I came out of it I  was kind of depressed for about a week or two. Then I said, "What the fuck just happened to me?"

I think the producers did a disservice to the actual definiton of sex addiction. What I did learn about sex addiction isn't even on the show. We had these great seminars that really explained it and they never showed that stuff. Why wouldn't you give the information? We don't need to see Kerri Ann's ass every day. She was coming down. She smuggled crystal meth in in her p***y and was coming down from all this crap and losing it and that's what they focused on. That's when I was like "You know what? This sucks." I was over it.

So you got some good therapy -- what else was good?

We ended up doing Oprah, which was amazing. If you know anything about Oprah's show, it's a room with like 200 women. And Oprah is the king. She came out with these Christian Louboutin shoes and she held them up like she'd just killed the food for the year and the place erupted. I looked at Drew and went, "Holy Crap, I'm doomed." Me and Drew were the only guys on there. But the greatest part about being on Oprah was being on the couch and having Oprah go, "So Phil." I'm like, "Did Oprah just call me?"

The intro to my thing is that I've slept with 3,000 women on tour. There was a gasp -- it was in sync and it was unbelievable. But I played the broken wing and got them on my side. And, ironically, doing that show has gotten me laid more than being in a band.

Did you touch Oprah?

Oprah is one of the nicest people I've ever met. She is so friendly on and offstage. After the show she went out of her way to come over and say hello to me and hug me and thank me for being on the show. I thought that was so cool. I can't say enough about her. I absolutely adore her.

Who's on your celebs to make out with list?

I have a bucket list of sex celebs. Heather Graham is one of my obsessions. I just hope she's in my bed at some poin. Julieanne Moore is probably one of the hottest women I've ever seen in my life. I also have a fetish for redheads with freckles. If they're pregnant on top if it, even better. I only date pregnant women from like 6 to 9 months and then I dump them. Pregnant women need loving, too. My first wife, when she was pregnant I thought I would kind of enjoy it, but it's a little weird when it's your kid in there. I much prefer to have sex with someone else's pregnant woman.

What's the grossest thing in your purse?

I have these vibrating drumsticks. The thing is that we spent so many years putting real drumsticks in women on the road, so why not come out with something that's more friendly? These are actually pretty cool. They really vibrate well. That's probably the grossest thing in my bag.

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