Number 95

My therapist asked me to make a list of every man I've ever screwed ... and screwed over. This is the victim's list.
Publish date:
March 15, 2011

Used you for your money – wife and kids – enabled your many various addictions – didn’t tell you about other sexual partners – lied about safe sex practices – lied about my sexual past

I was bartending and you started tipping me in 100 dollar bills. I pretended to be tentative about accepting it, but that was just the initial stages of deception. That shit was mine as soon as it came out of your wallet.

I liked you well enough, but it was your money that made me more eager to see you than one of my other married casual sex partners. (None of whom I mentioned to you.) You never paid me directly for sex, but sometimes after we got a hotel room you’d hand me a few hundred dollars as reimbursement for a 60-dollar bill. A few times I pretended to reluctantly share a financial concern and then reject your offers of help until I accepted them. It’s just that the money meant to little to you – you almost literally threw it all over the place – and so much to me.

I led you to believe I didn’t do this sort of thing often, when actually I practically invented doing this sort of thing. I had unprotected sex with you and lied to your face that I was always safe with everyone else.

I didn’t think about your wife at home and three kids, except to wonder how she put up with you because you were behaving in an increasingly erratic and bizarre fashion. You were sort of a Sheen lite – unlimited cash, a gambling problem for which you spontaneously flew to Vegas every week, and a different woman every night. You particularly liked pregnant women. You went home to the suburbs when you felt like it, only occasionally, and always drove your fancy car way too fast.

I could see your downward spiral, but instead of trying to help, or steering clear of the whole mess all together, I just hopped along for the ride for awhile, until it got to be too much for me, at which point I hopped off again and waved goodbye.

We stopped talking when you reponsded to one of my late-night depressed texts with a giggly call from you and another woman. I hung up on you and asked you not to contact me again. I may have emailed and texted you a few more times anyway, but you never responded. Possibly you're dead?

It's been like 8 months. Sorry about that.