My Ex Was The Best Lover I've Ever Had Which is Why I'm Still Doing Him

I am not going to settle for the fumblings, premature ejaculations and disappointments of inexperienced men that I have encountered numerous times in the past. At 27, I am too old for that shit.
Publish date:
November 13, 2012
exes, cheating, M

My ex, Rob, is the most amazing lover that I have ever had.

I am having a harder time getting over the intensity of our sexual chemistry than any other aspect of our relationship. I have never connected with anyone on such an intense sexual level like I have with him.

I would definitely be missing the sex if I weren’t still banging him on the regular, even though we broke up in January. I know the old adage “An ex is an ex for a reason” but sometimes sex is just sex even though it is with an ex.

Although I am single, my ex is not. Rob is still dating the woman that he started seeing shortly after we broke up. Knowing this doesn’t make me feel guilty about fucking him. I do not know his girlfriend at all; she’s not from the small town where we grew up. I just want good sex.

Our relationship in a nutshell: Rob and I met through friends, and -- even though we grew up in the same small town and had a multitude of mutual friends -- we did not know of each other until introduced. After a few weeks of chatting on Facebook, we decided to meet. And had sex on our first date.

In the beginning, we were just fuck buddies, but our awesome personalities meshed well and the knack of finishing each other’s Simpsons quotes eventually put us in the realm of a monogamous relationship (his idea actually, as he was rather keen on me). It was fun. I was happy, and I was with someone who loved me for me for who I was. That was extremely refreshing.

Our break-up in a nutshell: It was one of those “out of the blue” break-ups. We were both really happy and everything was going really well when, all of a sudden, he decided that he wanted to branch out and experience more of what life had to offer. I understood. Before we had started dating, he was just several months out of a really serious relationship (that had ended badly). I was only the second person that he'd had sex with.

We were at different stages in our lives even though we are the same age; I was looking more to settle down into something long-term and he wanted to get out there and be able to date and fuck whomever he wanted. I had been like that once, too, but that was in my early 20s when I was in university. It’s out of my system now. I am much more choosy with whom I decide to have sex, especially now that I had been having such great sex. I am not going to settle for the fumblings, premature ejaculations and disappointments of inexperienced men that I have encountered numerous times in the past. At 27, I am too old for that shit.

I have never slept with an ex after a break-up before. There is something different about Rob. Sometimes I want to fuck him so bad I fervently masturbate thinking about it, and other times I tell myself that the last time was the absolute last time.

I think a lot of it does have to do with intimacy. He is not a stranger to me; I don’t have to waste countless hours getting to know him to see if he is worthy of getting into my lady garden. He isn’t some guy I’ve been chatting with at the bar, who is just talking to me because he’s drunk and needs to get laid -- or some dude from the Internet trying to woo me with lines like “I wanna bury my 9-incher deep in your ass.” He’s a sure thing.

He knows my body perfectly, he knows what turns me on and knows how to excite me in ways that will give me orgasm after orgasm (did I mention I always have multiple orgasms every single time we had sex?). He’s given me so many orgasms and I will admit that I am selfish, always wanting more. Perhaps it is a form of addiction for me, a constant need for the dong I have grown so accustomed to.

This may be unbelievable to some, but I have no illusions or hope that that maybe, just maybe, we will get back into a relationship. Do I still love him? I think a part of me always will, but he has a lot of shit that he needs to work out, not to mention how he ripped my heart out and stomped on it. His cock is still a friend, though.

I am not looking for reconciliation; I am just looking to fill time (and my vagina) until something else comes along. Perhaps I need a new fuck buddy, one that I have never had any emotional investment in -- maybe a really, really good vibrating dildo. In the meantime, I fuck my ex and I like it.