I'm Not in Love with my F*ck Buddy

Also, can we call him something less annoying please? Casual sex partner?
Publish date:
June 11, 2012
friends with benefits, girls, boyfriend

Friday night, I made a quick detour at my f*ck buddy's place before meeting up with my friend Fran and her boyfriend. Incidentally, I didn't stay for long because he failed to alert me ahead of time that his roommates would be home, something I try to avoid. Also, can we call him something less annoying please? Casual sex partner? CSP it is.

When I explained what had happened to Fran and her dude, he launched into a jumble of unsolicited relationship advice.

"You want to be with him, yes?" assumed the boyfriend.

"No, not at all," I explained. "I'm just sleeping with him."

I tried setting the record straight, but Fran's boyfriend continued to press the issue, refusing to believe that I didn't want more than sex from CSP. While "friends with benefits" are portrayed constantly in television and movies, they always fall in love and into a conventional monogamous relationship. But CSP isn't even a friend.

This is why I was so relieved to see Hannah and Adam's realistic rendition of the CSP dynamic on "Girls." Hannah and Adam weren't friends who also had sex, they were just having sex -- terrible sex! But then Hannah caught feelings or revealed feelings that she always had, and emotionally unavailable, semi-abusive Adam transformed into the boyfriend of her dreams.

His n' hers onesie life

I'm not disappointed that Hannah and Adam's relationship has evolved from foreplay-free couch sex to wearing matching onesies, nor am I saying that the change is entirely unrealistic. One of my closest friends and her man of over a year became a couple after a similar situation turned serious.

Months of mostly alcohol-fueled after hours sex progressed to include brunch in the morning and then actual plan-making until eventually they found themselves in something that looked a lot like a relationship. But it didn't happen as seamlessly as Hannah and Adam's transformation.

Like early-season Hannah, I found myself sleeping with someone semi-regularly who I know every little about. Sure, we've gone for drinks a few times and shared some background information, but I've never had a meal with this person. I don't know his birthday. He hasn't met any of my friends. I don't think I've even told him the name of the website I write for.

Why sleep with this person you ask? He is professionally good-looking, lives near my office and his bed is comfortable. The end. Still, when my attached girl friends ask "what's going on" with us, I have to reiterate that nothing is going on. It is exactly what it looks like. No HBO ending. Just. Sex.

What do you think of Hannah and Adam? Are you into their new relationship? Have you ever had a CSP? How did it end?

Talk to me on Twitter @JR_Schott.