Here's your place to come talk about sex and love whenever you feel like it.
People really seem to hate wearing or using condoms. One of the most common excuses I hear is that putting one on really kills the moment, or somehow ruins the experience of sex. While there are plenty of contraceptive methods which are extremely effective, over 5 billion condoms are sold yearly around the world, so somebody must be using them. So why do they get such bad press?
The first thing to remember is that not all condoms are created equally. Having run the gamut of available condoms on the market (OK, I've not tried ALL of them, but a lot), some are more akin to plastic bags than contraception. While the visual aspects aren't all that important considering no one's going to be able to see it during the actual act, it's a bit off-putting if the thing you're putting onto a person's dick, or into their vagina, looks like it'd be better suited to holding a sandwich. I'm just saying.
Aesthetics can be important, too, because some condoms are designed to make sex more pleasurable, apparently. The ones with dots and ribs on never did much for me personally, and made the whole process way more chafing (TMI?). But each to their own, I guess. What I'm getting at is that condoms are like cocktails – not all of them are good, despite their intentions.
I love condoms. I use them every time I have sex (which may sound boring but it works for me), and while I know I could go on the pill, or use an alternative contraceptive method, synthetic hormones never really agreed with me. Condoms seem to be the simplest option.
And, sure, there have been times in the past when getting one on has made a farce of sex, but much of that can be down to the person you're fucking. For instance, when you sleep with someone for the first time and they insist on using a glow in the dark condom, your problems run way deeper than whether you can get the damned thing on or not.
My current partner makes me feel so comfortable, which is part of why we've tried like fifty different kinds of condom. And our favorite so far? Even though we're British, a Trojan, all the way my friends. Why? Because their super-thin-feel condoms are the legit thinnest we've found or tried. Plus, they're really translucent, not that that matters, but they seem to slide on so much easier than others. There's nothing about them that reminds me of carrier bags, and I like that, a lot.
Part of the reason I love condoms is because putting one on is now an ingrained part of foreplay. This probably sounds like propaganda of the highest order, but being with someone who's completely calm when they're rolling a piece of plastic on to their dick (FYI, I know it's not plastic, per se, it just sounds better), makes the entire birth control experience way more chill. Plus, as this person understands my reservations about taking hormones, they're more than happy to wrap everything up all nice and tight.
In the past, partners have complained about having to wear a condom, and encouraged me to take birth control. Taking hormones is a really big step though, and one that can have a huge effect a person's body. I've tried three different pills, and they've all made me crazy/ill/disinterested in sex/all of the above, and that's not fun. Plus, condoms have that all-important bonus STD preventative measure, which is not to be scoffed at.
If the pill, or any other method works well for you, I think that's great – the main thing is finding what you and your partner are most comfortable with, and not compromising, even in the face of criticism.
I do wish that condoms didn't get such negative press. I mean, someone is definitely buying those bad boys. I so often hear from people that they had problems getting them on, or didn't like the way they smelled, or that the moment was somehow destroyed by the mere presence of one. But if the sex is going to be good with someone, it's going to be good regardless of the birth control used. Claims to the contrary are oftentimes bullshit.
Condoms really aren't bad at all. I find them sort of sexy now. Especially when I've got a new box of my favorite brand to work my way through. And a little lube goes a long way. The main thing is this: if you don't want to use condoms for whatever reason, don't, that's obviously fine. However, if you do want to use them, but have found the experience a little awkward to date, don't give up. It doesn't have to be a hamfisted affair. Practice makes perfect.