Do Other People Get Horny During Professional Massages Or Am I Just a Pervert?

Do people still say "horny"? It suddenly sounds very silly. But you know what I mean.

May 19, 2011 at 10:02am | Leave a comment

Accepting a massage from a member of your preferred sex is a great way to end up having sex with that person. That's fine, just be aware going in that massage = sex. Always.

Maybe this is why my vagina gets so confused by professional massages? Yesterday I got a 10-minute chair massage and found myself feeling quite squirmy every time the guy's hands went south of my coccyx. I would never degrade the wonderful man who rubbed me so accomodatingly by commenting negatively on his appearance, but for the sake of accuracy, do not picture some square-jawed movie masseuse.

And that was right out in the open! Get me in a room, with a heated massage table, naked... There's always that fun moment when the massage person starts touching your butt a little and you wonder if it's standard protocol or if the whole thing just turned a corner. There are times when I have thought to myself, "If this man/woman tries to slip a finger inside my panties right now, I am gonna go with it." (My boyfriend is possibly about to regret getting me that spa gift certificate above.)

Then again, one of the nice things about a massage is that it's intimate without being sexual. To be safely naked in front of a stranger, and to allow them to touch you in a healing way, is a sort of lovely thing that my confused brain may be trying to sexualize for unhealthy reasons. I do this, oh boy do I do this. Sometimes I find myself thinking I would like to have sex with someone, but when I dig deeper I realize I actually just like them, or respect some admirable quality they have. It doesn't have to be about sex, brain.

Is it just wrong all together to get turned on during a massage? Like getting a boner while the sylist shampoos you or something? Am I about to find out I'm the only pervert who feels this way?

As a side note about spas, can I just say that I feel very uncomfortable paying someone to touch my feet or vagina? Especially when it's the same person. You walk out of the waxing room and sit down to get your nails done and all I can think is, "This woman could draw a technically accurate drawing of my vagina right now." She could even add a speech bubble and make it say something unflattering, or oh god, stink lines!

I still get waxes and pedicures on occasion, I just tip really really well. And you'll be pleased to know I have never become aroused during a bikini wax.