The first thing I will do when they invent time travel is go back in time to drop the following knowledge on my teenaged girlfriends: Don't stop hanging out with the goofy boys. Stop trying to get the hot ones to be your pals and fall in love with you. Stop wasting your time! It's the goofy looking boys you want to keep around.
If you need any proof that many of them grew up and out of their haircuts to be smoking hot, please take a look at Exhibit A: Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Before picture above, AFTER PICTURE BELOW.
When he was on "3rd Rock From the Sun," did anyone even possibly think that the little long-haired, big-eared weird kid would ever become the sensitive and gorgeous stud of "Inception"? He's a dream inside a dream!
Just think, had you befriended that adorable dork with the silly, silly hair in 10th grade, you'd be able to get backstage at one of those concerts where he adorably covers "Bad Romance."
If you need more proof, Google the former hunky kids of your Tiger Beat, locker pinup past. It's a lot of sad, puffy faces, friends.
But I'm not completely shallow-- the goofy-looking boys are more than just an attractiveness investment. They're also way better company. My guy friends in high school might have quoted Monty Python and Kids in the Hall too much, and they might have worn Sandman T-shirts too many days in a row, but you know what else they did? They respected me.
While hunky popular boys were constantly trying to make moves on girls, my friends weren't even slightly ready to think about dating the opposite sex, so we existed in a world of near-platonic coed friendship. We talked about comedy and music and movies and our dreams of growing up, and I got to learn the wonders of guys' minds. We hung out, we had fun, we might have even made out here and there, and as the only female of the crew, I felt like I was the sole possessor of a secret. Other girls saw dudes with questionable grooming habits, but I saw the coolest guys I'd ever met, who looked more and more attractive to me as time went on. We learned weird things from each other, we learned how to treat people of the opposite sex, and everybody won.
My dorky guys went on to be rock stars in Peru, run their own comic book companies, write books or just stay extremely cool as they work their random desk jobs, and they've all grown into their looks. I love them even more now than I did in high school.
So take heed, young girls: What's interesting now stays interesting, but what's boring and pretty rarely develops into anything but boring and pretty.
Keep the dorky boys around.