How Do You Feel About Sleeping Separately From Your Significant Other?

Publish date:
April 25, 2016
open thread, insomnia, sharing is hard, sleeping, bed sharing, Bedtime

This is how I sleep:


I've slept through earthquakes, my college roommate falling out of the top bunk, and yes, even burglar alarms.

When I get a good night's sleep, I wake up in almost the exact position that I fell asleep in. My husband has actually checked to make sure I'm still breathing.

Of course, I have to fall asleep first.

This is how my husband sleeps:

Zzzz-flail-zzzzz-flipflopflip-zzzzzzzz-"Hello? No THAT'S not BAGELS"-zzzzzzz-flail-kick-snore-snore-snore-snore-snore-snore-snore-zzzzzzzz-kick-shimmy-snore-zZzZzZzZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

We are incompatible sleepers. While it's always been somewhat annoying, in recent months it's become a downright PROBLEM.

I don't know if it's the fact that we have a cheap mattress that feels like it's stuffed with human bones, or if it's that our bed is about half-a-foot narrower than any bed we've ever owned. Whatever it is, Mr. Louise's sleep time calisthenics are REALLY beginning to chap my eyeballs (Get it? Because they're always open, BECAUSE I CAN'T SLEEP.)

Between my breathtaking insomnia and Mr. Louise's flail-snoring, there are nights I lie awake wondering if I will ever sleep again. It worries me how good I've gotten at navigating the world feeling drunk on sleeplessness.

And no, there's nowhere else to sleep in our apartment. Living in a tiny Hong Kong studio, we have a Barbie's Dream Shack-sized couch, and our air mattress recently left this earth for that Great Big Costco in the Sky. So it's either dodge Mr. Louise's limbs in bed, or build a nest out of hair and pants on our cold, tile floor.

I'm this close to building a nest.

Mr. Louise has offered to buy an air mattress to sleep on, so I can have the bed, but I don't think that's fair either. We should both have a nice place to sleep in peace and comfort.

So I've been thinking about separate beds. It would take a little creative rearranging so our whole apartment isn't BED (though would that be SO awful?), but I think we could do it.

Yet... I'm not quite ready to take the plunge. I'm hesitating. So is Mr. Louise. The prospect is both exciting and, to be honest, a little scary for us. I can't quite pinpoint why.

We both know it wouldn't mean we are any less close, and our relationship is fine, it would just be about sleep. Why are we hesitating?

Do you and your significant other sleep in separate beds? Rooms? Homes? Do you love it? Have you tried it, but it wasn't for you?

Tell me! What are the pros and cons of separate sleeping?