My Two Best Friends Are Beautiful, And I'm So Jealous It Could Ruin Our Friendship

We’re moving in together soon, and shining, unachievable beauty will become the norm. I’ll be the ugly one.
Publish date:
January 29, 2013
roommates, beauty, friendship

Every girl thinks her friends are beautiful. But trust me, mine, Alice and Charlotte, really are. They are the type of girls who cause boys’ mouths to hang slack and drool.

I once walked into a club with Alice and a young gentleman turned to his friend, pointed at her and repeated, "She’s just so fucking hot she’s just so fucking hot she’s just so fucking hot," losing all sentence-making skills until I pointedly barged past him to the bar.

I’m constantly being sidled up to and asked, furtively, " your friend single?" to which sometimes I snap and lie furiously, "She’s GAY and she’s MINE," and then sadly chew the straw in my vodka coke.

They are both stunningly photogenic, size eight, clear skinned, well dressed, big-eyed goddesses and perhaps most infuriatingly they are both impossibly cool and great people as well. Grrr.

Charlotte came to visit me at home one Christmas and she was introduced to my childhood friend and her new boyfriend. The boyfriend, three minutes after meeting her instantly admitted his sudden crush and when I heard, I felt totally desolate.

It was his first time meeting us both, I was so excited and tried really hard to be super charming, and all he could feedback to my friend was how great Charlotte’s arse was.

All my male friends (no exaggeration, all, even the gay ones) have admitted to lusting after one or both of them and sometimes drop in a casual question asking exactly what I’ve managed to see in a changing room. Even my female friends wax lyrical about how nice Alice’s hair is or how sexy Charlotte’s shoulders look today.

The three of us are going to be living together in a couple of months, and someone said to me, "Wow! You’ll have a queue at your door, that flat will have the two hottest girls in the city!" A sudden cloud of teenage anguish fell on me.

Having one fit friend is manageable, two makes it more intense. Shining, unachievable beauty becomes the norm. I’m going to be the ugly one. Jealousy is a totally unattractive, useless emotion, I KNOW that, and to think it could damage a friendship with two of the absolute loveliest, kindest, funniest people I know is a horrible thought.

This goes against everything I believe about sisterhood and feminism; it’s a ridiculous level of totally irrelevant superficiality. Surely, SURELY I should be able to put pointless insecurities behind me and just have a great time with two of the most fun girls around?

The thing is, I know myself, and all my flaws, and I don’t really think I will.

I’m terrified it will start to get to me; I’ll start jumping on every innocent comment I hear, I’ll remember every silly thing a boy says (already evidenced by this angsty article) and I might start to really resent them both.

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