Have you Ever Outed a Cheater?

Thanks to technology, it's easier than ever to bust a cheater with a Facebook message. But should we?

May 10, 2012 at 10:00am | Leave a comment

My coupled-up friends consider this a major horror story: a dude with a serious girlfriend asked me out recently.

To be clear, I didn't know about his significant other at the time. Here's how it happened. We met at a party -- he was in town visiting a mutual friend -- and we ended up spending the whole time together hanging out and talking. I'll share more about that later, but for now, it's enough to know that he suggested we "ditch the party" to get dinner instead. 

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NOT the bro in question

Objectively attractive, funny and gainfully employed, this bro seemed promising, but I decided to stay instead. I don't rush these things. We exchanged numbers though, and he texted me straight away. 

Fast forward to the following night, and I'm at home with my friend Jenna scrolling through Facebook. Conversation turns to the party and the dude I had met. Did I like him? "Maybe," I said. "But he might have a girlfriend." 

As it turns out, this fool does have a girlfriend, and I know because he splashes his relationship status all over Facebook. He and his (supermodel hot) lady are the sort of couple that posts dozens of vacation pictures -- making out in caverns, drinking by the pool, swimming with dolphins -- you know this public pair. She writes "I'm the luckiest girl in the world" on his wall. 

Jenna asks around and finds out the couple met in college and have been together ever since, but he cheats on her regularly. I can't imagine taking that kind of risk. Isn't this dude worried he might hit on or sleep with the wrong girl and end up with a Bunny Boiler?

"I'm not really thinking about that in the moment," says a sometimes-cheater friend when I ask if he ever thinks about getting caught. "I'm usually just horny."

Fair enough. Sex drives don't always match up in a relationship and discreet cheating can help keep the whole thing afloat. "Why would I destroy an otherwise perfect relationship?" says  Sometimes-Cheater friend. 

As for the guy I met, nothing happened. Like I said, we were just talking, but my friend Jenna thinks his girlfriend deserves an email. I disagree. While I would want to know if my dude was being shady, it's not my place to tell this girl, and she has probably heard it before. When Clayton told me about my ex's cheating ways I wasn't 100% surprised. 

Would you want to know if your SO was sneaking around? Have you ever outted a cheater? How did it end?

Follow Julie on Twitter @JR_Schott.

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