Ask Liz: Should I Be Drinking This Wheatgrass?

"If it's just preventative (like cancer prevention), then I'm not as interested."

Mar 28, 2011 at 12:22am | Leave a comment

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Hey Liz,
I'm drinking this wheatgrass shot, because I know it's supposed to be good for me, but what exactly is it good for? 'Cause if it's just preventative (like cancer prevention), then I'm not as interested. However, if it is making me clearer-headed, more energetic, happier, and giving me gorgeous skin -- the superficial short-term stuff -- then I'll ingest that $2.50 thimbleful of grass-flavored pulp all day long.

Thanks!
Jane

Hi Jane,
Know what? I won’t touch wheatgrass. Nutritionists can’t quite agree whether or not those of us with a wheat allergy (which is different from gluten) will react negatively to it, but my body started itching as soon as I started typing. Regardless of the preventative/beauty dilemma, if you have grain sensitivities, put the shot glass down, woman! Besides that, look at that bushy grass just hanging over the counter, inviting anyone to stroke. Totally gross! Do you really think it's washed to perfection before they put it through the juicer? Stay. Away. Unless you're doing it yourself or you like getting sick.

Now, if you’re truly going for vibrancy, energy, bright eyes, and a natural face to make other people jealous, it is algae you’re after. The real shit is not cute like wheat grass, where you get to trim it off and see it turn all bright green when it's liquified -- it’s weird deep sea goo, the stuff all those scary creatures that look like they live in the most tormented dimension of hell swim around. Or at least that’s what I imagine.

Here's the stuff scientists can prove: Aphanizomenon flos-aquae blue-green algae (AFA is what we’ll call it from now on, because I can’t even pronounce those other words) is an edible species of the most nutritionally dense, biologically active food known to mankind. It’s fantastic for your immune, endocrine, nervous, gastro-intestinal, and cardio-vascular systems, which means it is the best thing your skin is ever going to get next to a visit to a super expensive dermatologist’s office. It does not taste good and it looks even worse, but a li’l splash of some sludge in some coconut water and I’m positive I can feel my blood vessels instantly opening up, basking in the goodness. And it gets rid of period cramps almost instantly, because it helps alkalize the body.

 As for recommendations, the best I’ve tried—and I have not tried them all (and no one is paying me to say this) -- is E3 Liv. It’s one of those freaky-seeming companies with a hard sell on the website, and the stuff is kind of expensive, but it’s shipped frozen and that to me means SERIOUS BUSINESS.

I’ve also enjoyed Health Force Nutritionals’ Elixir of the Lake, which the bottle says is “harvested at the peak of the life cycle at the algae’s ‘bloom,’ and not to be totally gross but we all know that fresh born baby cells are always the best.

Plus, it is “filtered and magnetically sanitized for 100% purity.” Magnetic sanitization, to me, also means SERIOUS BUSINESS--it isn't chemical. Besides being less expensive, it comes in powder form and is easier to take because you just drop a teaspoon of it in your morning juice and you don’t notice it at all.