To hell with moving “upstate” and starting “bed and breakfast.” I was moving to Alaska and starting a hotel. Later on in the day, when I read about those Shetland ponies wearing sweaters, it became absolutely clear that they had to be hired to work in the hotel. Don’t worry - we will make sure they are wearing adequately insulated parkas.
Blondes don’t lead naturally charmed lives. Oh sure, we got no ish standing over a subway grate and giggling as our skirts rise, but our souls are dark, our pasts tortured, and our ideologies seriously borked.