religion
I’ve tried, but I can’t really convince myself that virgins have the most fun. And as a divorcee, well, I’m particularly screwed, pardon the pun.
abstinence
I will text your teenager for no fee at all. Like all day. Seriously.
abstinence
It's difficult to list all the ways comparing girls to half-chewed food is screwed up. And really, who is thinking up these terrible sex metaphors anyway?