Jane Pratt, Worst Mom In the World: I Fight My 9-Year-Old for the Cheesiest Dorito Edition

Publish date:
January 3, 2012
worst mom in the world, Jane's stuff. parenting

Who could think of taking the cheesiest Dorito from a child, especially your own? I can, and do. And just did. With a vengeance. I grabbed the bag from her at our local Subway and rummaged through it, throwing back the plain-assed ones. What can I say? (Okay, Bad Mom that I am, I have only recently learned what partially hydrogenated fats truly are and am just now starting to cut back on them -- because my daughter's godfather is stricter than I am about this stuff and talked to me and Char about it -- she says the way I describe the fat molecules exploding makes her want to vomit. Score?)

Make me feel better and tell me the childish ways you do or would "relate" to your kids. My favorite Bad-Mom friend has retaliated against her 10-year-old's protests by kicking her backpack across the room and tauntingly sing-songs "Liar! Liar! Liar!" when her daughter tells an untruth, rather than something more delicate and PC. I love that and her.

I have been tempted at times to put spit or nail polish on my daughter's favorite pillow-case after a fight but have, to this point, resisted.

PS God, I love this kid.