Come Comment as Yourself or Anyone You Want to Be in This Who-Cares Open Thread

What do you smell like right now?
Publish date:
April 22, 2016
open thread, weekend open thread, No Judgment

You can do whatever you want.

You can skip this intro and go straight to the comments to talk about anything going on with you, going on in the world, stuff you love or hate or that annoys you about your family, your coworkers, technology, your friends, your fur babies, or stuff you want help with. (You are the most generous community I know when it comes to helping each other, by the way. I will never forget the xoJane community member who bought sheets for another one of you she never met because the girl wanted new sheets after a bad breakup.)

Now here, with no more of a segue than that, is a rambling train of what's been on my mind this week to get you into the Weekend Open Thread No-Judgment Zone. Because if I can write these journal-entry-esque thoughts out for you all to read, you can clearly do no wrong in your own comments:

Ever since I was little, I’ve had this way of trying to turn a negative into a positive. For example, I remember as a teenager dropping and breaking my favorite bottle of perfume and immediately thinking, "Oh, thank goodness I did that, because if I had worn that perfume tonight, I would have met somebody — okay, I pictured a cute guy with long blonde hair, which is what I was into — who was so put off by the smell that we would not have become close and this person will be very important to my life.” So, still a controlling way of manipulating what I perceived as negative and turning it into a perceived positive. Then in more recent years I started to learn not to even label things positive or negative and that has been freeing, when I can do it.

What I am working on: purely letting go of any attachment to an outcome of any kind. Also working on: leaving well enough alone. And trying less hard. And remaining unattached to things.

However: I'm not a suer. I was told by so many people back when I got toxic shock syndrome from test-marketed tampons that I should sue the manufacturer, Procter & Gamble. Same thing when I had faulty construction above my apartment that caused fiberglass to enter all my air vents and make me very sick. I will never forget going to the hospital in Milan when I was there for fashion shows, sores all over my face and hands and the bottoms of my feet, and hearing the doctors say in Italian a word that sounded like "psychological" while pointing to their heads. (Have I told you this story already? I also could stand to work on not repeating myself so often.)

But I do still get caught up and attached to material things sometimes. Like, as I mentioned, this morning after dropping my daughter at school in my rent-a-wreck car that I realized is cheaper than my Uber expenses so I've kept it for a few weeks. Except it's not cheaper because it gets towed all the time, like this morning. I had my whole day planned out, as I always do, down to the minute. So, as my car is being towed away and the cop won't let me negotiate with him to keep it, I just jumped in and got all my work stuff and exercise clothes out of the back seat so I could continue on with my day as planned.

It reminded me of when I was editing a fashion story and found out that my dad had gone into a coma (from which he would end up dying) and I continued editing until my Market Editor told me to take a break and that we could meet on it another time. Same as when my water broke with Charlotte and I stood there continuing to write my Jane magazine editor's note. (It wasn't nearly as much liquid as I thought it would be.)

I get tied to plans and what I think is going to happen and get controlling about keeping it on course, as I see it.

Someone I know who is an addict, sober for many years, exercises like a fiend and eats extremely healthy, recently said something that I completely related to when asked to go to a meeting that interfered with gym time: "I have a very carefully constructed world that keeps me from losing my mind. Please don't mess with it."

Now that I've gone on and on, in paragraphs way too long to work well in this online medium we are using, I invite you to do the same or to be more succinct than I've ever been able to be in all my life. I love you all regardless of your verbosity, perceived terseness, or anything else about you, including but not limited to creed.

So write something that pleases you below. And, if it also pleases you, you can answer these random questions.

When was the last time you missed a deadline?

Do you avoid things that you know will make you happy?

How do you brush off a comment (the internet kind or the real-life kind) that hurts your feelings?

How do you brush off a person who keeps hurting your feelings?

What’s your favorite Prince song?

What was your favorite brand of cereal when you were a kid?

Do you prefer taking your own picture or having someone else take it or do you hate both equally?

Or don't answer any of this latest batch of questions. Go ahead to the comments and do what you want, however you want to do it. You don’t need to wait for someone else to comment first. You don’t need to rush so you’re not the last one in. Everything is important enough to write about here in Open Thread. As much as you’d like or as little as you’d like or however you’d like to do it. Make it your journal if you want.