Help Us Write Our New Tagline and GET A LOT OF CREDIT FOR IT!

How would you describe in the space we have down at the bottom of this page? Be blunt. Be weird. Be earnest. Be artistic. Be odd. I know you will.
Publish date:
February 17, 2012

At the bottom of every page on this site, there’s a line that says: “ is where women go when they are being selfish, and where their selfishness is applauded.” Now, I have never been a big fan of the tag-line. In magazines, for example, where they put under the logo a line in smaller font saying "For Women Who Win!" or whatever. I always feel like the magazine's name and the covers and the coverlines can tell readers what the magazine is about and who it is for. I feel the same way about books and, I guess, websites. (Though I once wrote a book with such a nebulous title that I had the longest sub-title ever and neither was effective at conveying what the book was about. I AM a fan of writing coverlines or headlines first and then writing the story that goes with them. I don't do it very often myself but frequently advise writers to do it. It would have been smart to have done that with that book I wrote. Oh, hindsight.)So this statement-of-purpose about being selfish that's at the bottom of this page. Well, it was part of a few-page-long description of this site that I'd written when I'd conceived of the idea (you know, the same one good idea I've had my whole career and keep re-gurgitating in various formats) and was starting to get other people on board. Now I've launched a bunch of projects over relatively-many years and I have never written a one-sentence mission statement for any of them, even though smart business people told me that I'd never get these magazines and shows and stuff launched unless I could sum them each up in what they call "an elevator pitch" and even though I like, when working and especially when starting something new, to due-diligently follow up on every little detail of what is expected of me. It is partly a belief that if I don't take care of all those details and follow every bit of sound wisdom someone is gracious enough to share with me, the project won't work out. A work-ethic/integrity thing I got from my mom mixed with my own superstitious/karma-loving nature. So what happened was: we were launching this thing and someone (hi Sippey!) said we needed a tag-line for the bottom of the page (I forget what you internet-y people call that thing at the bottom of this page, but you know what I mean -- the black bar with boring information in it). I didn't do it and so someone (hi and thanks, Sippey!) put this line in there from my write-up. It was very last-minute, like that ill-advised first post I ran, which I ran just because it was probably a good idea to have something I'd written in there when we launched, the post was sitting there written from a couple of years ago and had a photo and seemed about the right length and we were launching the next morning and so, yeah, stick it in there. Well, that sure went well -- heehee.Anyway, this is how I feel about the statement that it is healthy to be selfish. When I felt like I was drowning at one point a number of years ago, I was at the office of my holistic doctor in LA (love love Dr. Clara Charny) and she told me to remember to put on my own oxygen mask before that of my child. I tell it to people all the time. It is so okay and so important to put yourself first, and as the TSA understands, you can't take care of anyone else if you don't. My therapist has suggested I put up a sign where I will see it regularly that says "Me First," but I can't quite go there.

And when I use that oxygen mask analogy, I don't just mean "before your child," of course, but taking care of yourself before anything or anyone else. Though I don't just say this to women (gender being such a tired old definer), I think that for women, who have for so long been taught to put their children, families, friends, men first, this selfishness thing is particularly difficult to navigate. Way back when, Lesley and I were talking about the reactions to Casey Anthony’s clubbing habits following her daughter’s disappearance -- how people were all SHE MUST BE GUILTY because she was selfishly pursuing her own good time after her kid went missing. Basically the idea that being a “selfish” person is the exact same thing as being a child murderer.

I understand that the most extreme definition of "selfish" is, well, extreme. But never be selfless, please. And moving on...Here's where you come in:How would you describe in the space we have down at the bottom of this page? Be blunt. Be weird. Be earnest. Be artistic. Be odd. I know you will. And, though I give you "things" a lot, what I'm thinking of doing here is putting Your Name (the name of whoever comes up with the best tag-line) there in that spot following your brilliant quote for all eternity (or how long this site is around, which will be FOREVER). Is that even incentive? I don't know, but thanks in advance for your help and input.And here's how you do it: Do it on Twitter! For example, "@xojanedotcom is where women go to...#xotagline." Include @xojanedotocom (because our tagline should have the name of the site in it, do you think?) and #xotagline (so we know what you're talking about). The 5 most retweeted taglines from today until March 15 will experience their moment on the masthead-- and one (or some variation on one) will become our permanent/long-term tag-line. {Also, those 5 people get TBD prizes. [Madeline, I wasn't going to give prizes this time! --Jane] And we'll retweet every entry to get the word out. --Madeline} And because I LOVE reading your comments, to an obsessive degree, please put your tagline idea for me here below. You've put some brilliant ideas in comments already (what was that one about a flowering wealth of vagina? or something like that) and I want to read more. I will write you back, of course.I know you will say it better than I can.Take care of yourselves. ETA: Oh yeah, I am so new to Twitter that I forgot to say: Follow me @JanePratt and I will tell you all kinds of weird stuff as I am falling asleep that won't make sense in the morning. Thank you in advance!