I had a meeting this week in a big corporate office building conference room. I was excited to meet the people and excited about what we were discussing and I was sure I was coming off really hyper and nervous. Instead, the feedback my boss got was that I was easy going. Easy going?!
It's like my self-awareness reader is constantly off, kind of like Body Dysmorphic Disorder, and the basic gist of it that I NEVER KNOW HOW I AM COMING OFF TO PEOPLE. Is there a word for that?
It doesn't just happen in meetings. It's like Charlotte saying "what's wrong" when I'm happy. Or being in pain without looking like any of the faces on the right side of the pain scale doctors use for kids and, instead, looking as peaceful as Holly Hunter in The Piano when (what body part of hers got chopped off again? Her hand? Makes sense it would be her hand. Ok, I will go with that) her HAND got chopped off.
I think it's similar to the idea of not knowing how you look until you see yourself in a picture (like RBF), having faulty proprioception (which I also have), or being shocked every time you hear your voice on a recording (though I get that there are eardrum-related reasons for that).
It also seems related to that weird stonery concept that: You will never see your own face, only pictures or reflections of it. Woah.
It is not the neurological issue that man who mistook his wife for a hat had.
IT IS NOT VISUAL AGNOSIA.
Amber and I were trying to come up with the right term for this phenomenon today. I thought that it's something like Mood Dysmorphic Disorder. She said "sensory-challenged," but my senses are highly attuned (I felt my eggs implant when I got pregnant!), so maybe it's Self-Sensorially Dissociative. Either way, do you have any idea what I'm talking about and does it ever happen to you that you come off radically differently from how you feel inside? And is there a term for that? Or what would you call it? (Bonus points if you chide me for spending so many sentences trying to figure this out.)
If you're not interested, I hear you. Me neither, really. So here's another idea: answer one or more of these random questions:
Is jealousy always a bad thing?
Do you think the shootings in Virginia are going to negatively impact the BLM movement -- in the media, on your newsfeed or anywhere else?
Has your shoe size changed in adulthood?
Are you bored to death (or still intrigued) by the Ashley Madison hack details?
Is it too late to plant a mini vegetable garden in a window box?
Or bypass me and all this and talk about whatever is on your mind. Talk about what you're having for dinner tonight. Talk about your current mood. Talk about nothing at all. Just don't not talk please.
P.S. We will not judge you for any comment you add here. Try us and see!
P.P.S. I can't promise that Amber won't delete your comment if it violates policies.