Jane Pratt, Worst Mom In the World: Dance Hair Edition

I will sky-dive naked and do lots of things that may seem nerve-wracking before I will attempt a proper Front Poof Ponytail.
Publish date:
May 8, 2012
hair, dance, worst mom in the world, Dance Mom, front poof ponytail

To begin: When my daughter was 4 and we were living on our own and no longer had a nanny or sitters, I was scared of handling things that I thought should (blah word) be second nature.

I woke up many nights scared that I had overslept and that she was missing school because of it. I also had dreams that I'd forgotten to wash her clothes and that she had no clean underwear to wear (since when did I care about this stuff?). I would get anxious over whether I had cut her sandwich in such a way that the insides were leaking out.

People would say to me, "You've started two magazines. You can handle giving her breakfast and getting her dressed warmly enough for school." I didn't believe I could.

That's where some of this "Worst Mom" stuff started. Just basic daily things that I thought I "should" know how to do and didn't (e.g. cooking) or that I "should" do but couldn't possibly imagine how to fit in (e.g. everything) or that I "should" but didn't care about (e.g. hair).

As far as hair goes, if Charlotte doesn't want to brush hers and doesn't care if it dreds, more power to her, I feel. It's her head.

This week, however, I'm becoming all Dance Moms about the hair thing with my now-NINE-year-old, because she is performing with her Hip-Hop class and there is a specific hair-style that all the girls will have and that we moms/dads (love to know the ratio of dads who are doing their kids' hair for these things) are meant to produce.

HELP! I will go on Barbara Walters, I will sing the National Anthem before whatever big game that is that gets a lot of attention (not the Super Bowl, that other one), I will sky-dive naked, I will do lots of things that may seem nerve-wracking before I will attempt a proper Front Poof Ponytail. Again, HELP!

Here is what the hair is supposed to look like, along with the supplies I bought at the drugstore to try to recreate it:

I have managed, for the last two years, to arrange a sleepover for Charlotte with one of her fellow dancers for the night before the recital, thereby foisting the hair responsibilities onto that mom (hi Cynthia!). I am determined not to do that again this year.

Using my Nokia Lumia 900 Windows Phone (can you tell this is a sponsored post? it is all true regardless of awkward phrasings), I went on to search for hair tutorials, wigs and my favorite option:

Sweet Julie surprised me by sending me a little tutorial.

So I went home, re-watched Julie's video on my Windows Phone (how would you effortlessly weave in this product reference? Tell me below!) and flawlessly executed the hair-style just in time for the big performance...

The End.

Brought to you by the new AT&T Nokia Lumia 900.

Tasks. Joys. Simply Faster.