Every comment is a brick in the bridge to whatever comes next for us.
Bad mom or good mom? You tell me. I also eat organic as often as possible for myself, but I let my daughter eat 4- (or even 6-!) piece chicken mcnugget Happy Meals about once a week. I give her these tablets every day that are made by Nature's Plus called KidGreenz that have spinach and chlorella and even broccoli and spirulina in them, because my daughter hasn't eaten any green food since she was about 2-and-a-half. Part of it is that I don't want to get into control-issue battles with her about what goes into her own personal mouth. I think that I can have healthy food on hand for her and can do these trade-offs where she only gets dessert (the favorite being the aforementioned Little Bites, which are like crack) if she eats her sandwich first, or carrot first, depending on the meal. Then I leave the rest up to her. Lately, I also let her decide whether she feels that she needs her multi-vitamin that day or not.
Now if you think that's bad, listen to these:
On the plane, I show her how to tuck her seatbelt under her butt so that it LOOKS to the steward/stewardess like her belt is on, but she doesn't really have to feel all constricted by it. I think that you and your child can trust yourselves about what is a danger to yourselves.
Furthermore, sometimes I let my daughter decide when in the day she wants to brush her teeth and sometimes that means not at all.
I would LOVE to also leave the homework between her and her teacher and not intervene or even ask her whether she's done it or not. I think that that would be the healthiest dynamic for her, me and possibly her teacher. The only reason I don't do that one more is that there are a lot of parents around me who tell me scary stories about their kids not getting into "good" or geographically desirable middle schools because of their grades. Blahblahblah. I am learning more to remove myself from people who are acting out of fear, basically reacting rather than acting, and who seem set on controlling your behaviors so that you don't go through the scary stuff they have either been through or fear going through themselves. Left to my own devices, I am not scared of anything and I like it that way. (I was scared of being raped for many years and that informed a lot of my behavior, to the point where I essentially brought it on through my constant awareness of it. Fortunately, I am not afraid of rape anymore.) I also don't need anything except water and food and I like that too -- I can go too far with that one though, thinking that I should do without everything except the minimum requirements of food and water and that's just not as fun as allowing yourself what you don't need but really want.
So rambling on, this is where I am not at all like Cher, assuming she was accurately quoted and assuming that she still feels this way today: She said something about how she's been rich and she's been poor and rich is better (I've been both too and disagree), she's been young and she's been old and young is better (I disagree but also wonder if by not allowing yourself to age naturally, you may never know how great it is to be older), and then I think there's a third part but I'm not sure if it is about having been fat and skinny or ugly and pretty or what it was, but I think I've been those dichotomies too and disagree with her.
I like life simple and fearless.
Back to the question at the top: Am I a bad mom? (Note: I also never tell Charlotte to get down from things, no matter how high up she is and how tiny the thing she is standing on, unless the thing belongs to someone else and she might hurt it. What do you think about all that? Please tell me if your mom did the things I'm doing and how it screwed you up or not. Thank you so much!!)