Say It Like It Is in This Is-Honesty-The-Best-Policy?? Open Thread

Hey, I have an idea!! Let's all be honest here about a time that we lied! I will go first… (And talk about anything else you like here too, of course.)
Publish date:
March 11, 2016
open thread, lying liars, crying at work, office drama

This weekend's Open Thread was inspired by some office drama that just occurred.

What happened was: right around the time that Open Thread went up last Friday, I found out that a member of our little team shared some confidential information that (s)he saw on my desk with some other people here. I wrote to the staffer immediately (I don’t know when confrontation became so much easier for me than the avoidance of it, when it used to be the thing I most dreaded — to the point where my first-ever firing, from Sassy magazine, was done bad-boss-like over the phone from 3000 miles away) and we set up a meeting for that Monday morning in the office. God, that sentence rambled. Feel free to edit it for me below, if you like.

In that meeting, (s)he admitted right away that (s)he’d screwed up and was accountable and honest about it and vowed not to do it again. (S)he also cried while expressing concern about potentially jeopardizing the future of xoJane. (As an aside, I am not of the “no crying in the office” school, like my friend Kelly Cutrone. I am all for all kinds of openness and would just as soon say “no laughing in the office” as "no crying." But I am sure Kelly is smarter about this than I am.) I do think that the specific moments that someone is driven to tears during a conversation are always extremely telling — one employee, for example, was being told she had to let go of her assistant and her voice would crack only when she talked about how it would look to "the industry" that she didn't merit having someone to return her packages for her.

I spent the weekend before my come-to-Jesus with the snooping over-sharer thinking about all the ways our meeting could go massively wrong (if they’d lied about it, for example). Then I got started thinking about all the times I’ve lied, and some that I've never confessed to, including but quite possibly not limited to, the following:

  • I dated John Kennedy Jr. The truth is we went to boarding school together and he was very, very, very kind to little loser me, but we did not date. My first year in college, I heavily implied/lied that we had, then tried to cover my tracks by claiming that I meant another John Kennedy who had gone to my school — which was true but we had not dated either. So even my teenage lies had name-drops.
  • I had my period when I was 13, even though I didn't actually get it until I was 17. (This too-elaborate lie included sticking a tampon in my pocket for the specific crinkly sound it would make on the walk to the bathroom.)
  • I lost my virginity when I was 13, though that didn't happen until I was 17 either.

I KNOW I am not currently above lying, but I can't come up with a more recent example right now. I wish I had told Charlotte that spinach makes your boobs grow, but that was actually my friend Cynthia who did that with her daughter. Such a good lie though.

Now tell me either a recent or an all-time embarrassing or favorite or successful lie you've told, would you?

If you are as pure and ethical as virgin snow, skip the confession comment box, then answer one or all of these less salacious, random questions:

What's your health insurance deductible?

When was the last time you were inside a school? A place of worship?

What have you been putting off lately?

How often do you change your passwords?

Do you enjoy cat videos?

If you happen not to watch cat videos or tell lies or answer questions, you can ignore me and use this open thread to make thousands of new friends who can and will give you such good advice on anything you might be dealing with, big or small, make book or recipe recommendations, and just generally listen or talk about whatever random thing you feel like talking about at the moment.

If you’re a longtime lurker and have never left a comment before, you’re in the very best company. You can say anything at all. No judgments ever, because who are we to judge, seriously? So get it all out and love yourselves and each other just as you are below.