7 Things I Couldn't Get Anyone To Write About This Week, Including Auctioning Off Virginity!

Dearly beloved, we gather here to review the topics that were sent around to the xoJane editors, and were then given the ol' brush-off by those same editors. It's not necessarily these topics' fault. This week, we just got really into discussing our own personal lives and relationship problems and what have you instead, and as the Editor of this internet destination, that is 100% A-OK with me.
Of course, it is especially awesome when we get an xoArticle out of something that's happening in our personal lives and is also tied to something happening in the news.
Let me know what you think in the comments section -- who should have grabbed which of these topics? Do you want to write about any of them? Pitch us or just write a very long comment as your story pitch, if you prefer. And heeeeere they are!
- 8th grade boy suspended for wearing a purse.
- "STOP YELLING AT YOUR CHILDREN, YOU MONSTER!"
- Women who have had weight-loss surgery have "better sexual functioning."
- Marvel Comics' newest superhero is a shapeshifting Muslim teenage girl from New Jersey.
- A Russian teenager has auctioned off her virginity, and the cops have no problem with it.
- It's the 33 Whitest Jobs In America.
- "I borrowed a 2-year-old for a weekend to figure out if I'm ready to have kids."