Jane Pratt, Worst Mom In The World: "Don't Follow Me" edition

Every new form of social media is a new means by which I can embarrass my daughter ...
Publish date:
October 9, 2012

We were talking in the office the other day about kids being embarrassed by their parents and someone (I think it was Emily, but she'll tell me if I'm wrong) said something like, "Probably not if your mom is Jane Pratt." (I pay her, so keep that in mind. Also: I like when Emily uses my whole name when talking to me. I especially like when she calls me "Jane Pratt dot com", but that's another thing.)

Anyway, not true, of course. My daughter said to me on her first day of 5th grade, "You have toothpaste on your chin. At least you don't come into the school with me anymore." And my outfits embarrass her too, of course. And she, of course, doesn't want me anywhere near her social media, as you can see here.

I love her boundaries and seeming lack of co-dependence. I will also never forget when my best friend's mom and dad read her journal and found out that she and I were vandalizing those little room-set-ups in the mall department store -- I mean, who thought putting a fast-food restaurant with plenty of free easy-to-stomp-on-and-squirt ketchup packets next to a store with nice white-bedspread-covered fake beds wasn't an invitation for us to do exactly what we were having so much fun doing? Then we weren't allowed to see each other for a while, when they were clearly the evil ones for reading her personal diary. Right?

So when, if ever, do you think it is ok to look at your kids' stuff? And what fun kinds of vandalism or pranks have you engaged in so that little Charlotte can read this (I, unlike her, have few boundaries and let her look all through my phone, this site, etc. -- I know, Worst Mom In The World = me) and get great future ideas? Yeah, I am clearly just looking to make myself feel better by having you talk about bad stuff you've done too. So please do!

(Also, I am thinking about retiring this Worst Mom In The World thing. It is starting to feel forced. What do you think?)