Diagnose me, please (Plus: which movie star had the dried booger? A quiz.)

Publish date:
November 21, 2012

I have a strange new malady and I trust you more than whatever sourceI'm googling:

My tongue hurts. Also my throat but mostly my tongue. Anything acidickills. Like tomatoes, my favorite food, the food I hallucinated aboutwhen I had toxic shock syndrome and couldn't eat (just adding in alittle drama as this is a pretty thin post and I'm trying to make itworthwhile for you) -- when I ate some tomatoes last night it feltkind of like pouring scalding water on my tongue and onto the insidesof my cheeks.

I feel fine otherwise. I haven't been taking any medicine or weirdsupplements or anything I can think of.

So what is going on and can I correct it in time to eat everything Iwant to this eating-filled weekend? Has this ever happened to you?

Also, I love you and want to know what you are doing for Thanksgivingtomorrow, if anything. I'm driving to my mom's in Maryland with kidand dog and trying to decide whether to leave tonight or tomorrowmorning. I don't mind traffic and trips that take time, but I do haveto pee really frequently (as you TMI know) and don't want to wear oneof those diapers that that astronaut wore for that long drive wheneverthat was -- is anyone with me here? When I was a kid, we would keep ajar in the car specifically for me but I have never done that whiledriving and don't love the idea as an adult.

Oh yeah, and when I was on that whitewater rafting trip with all thosefamous people (the one Vanity Fair wrote about), I just hung myselfover the side every half hour or so so that I didn't slow down thewhole trip with my near-constant peeing. Everyone understood and atleast I wasn't the major movie star who had a driedbooger under his nose for a whole day and no one would tell him -- wedidn't have mirrors out there in the Grand Canyon and no one wanted tobe the one to say it.

Ok, help me with my tongue here and I will help you with whatever.