I am an Asian Woman and I Think Asian Boyfriends Are Superior (Well, Mine Is Anyway)

It has nothing to do with skin color and everything to do with cultural upbringing. But if we’re going to talk about stereotypes, then I will have to declare from personal experience: Asian men are the best ones to date.
Publish date:
September 25, 2012
Dating, race, IHTM, clarissa wei

It has nothing to do with skin color and everything to do with cultural upbringing. But if we’re going to talk about stereotypes, then I will have to declare from personal experience: Asian men are the best ones to date.

According to the 2010 U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, Asian men make the most money –- making $901 in median weekly earnings. Hard-working, humble, unwavering loyal to the family? Sounds like a recipe for success to me. Why the hell would you say no to that?

I’m an Asian woman, and I also grew up with a self-loathing attitude of my own race. That’s why I fled to New York for college. I was sick of the conservative attitudes that seemingly plagued my predominantly Asian community in southern California. Everyone seemed to be set on being a doctor, lawyer, engineer, or getting placed in some prestigious business school. Seriously, my parents literally cried when they learned I gave up a scholarship for pharmacy school to pursue journalism as a career.

I was hesitant to date someone of my own race -- and not to mention that Asian men in my community seemed boring and had a tendency to be socially awkward.

But then I dated one -- and have never looked back. He’s the epitome of an Asian man stereotype and proud: pre-med, good at math, Ivy League hopeful, obedient towards parents, grade-centric and not much of a partier.

That’s not to say he -- and a lot of Asian men in his peer group who also fit some of these broad generalizations -- spends all his time holed up in his room playing Diablo and studying. These guys enjoy quality time with friends and will occasionally try out the nightlife and get fucked up. But that’s not the focus. Career, family, and stability are.

Dating my Asian boyfriend is awesome and here’s why:

He helps me save money. He is insanely good at math, and I never have to worry about getting the best bang for my buck. My boyfriend compares prices between different grocery stores and if he finds the slightest defect, he’ll haggle for a better deal. He and his friends are meticulously monitoring their checking accounts and investing in the latest trends. If you’re tired of those starving artist types who have been struggling to get their lives together for the past five years, try to find an Asian man like my boyfriend (but hands off mine!).

I'm not jealous of his friends, I'm jealous of his work. School comes first for my boyfriend, not the social life. He’ll crash a house party or two during a semester, but he’ll rarely stay up past 1 a.m. and risk missing class the next day. When I don’t get a good night call, I’m not worried that he’s out and drunk. Chances are, he fell asleep studying. Hell, I’d choose being jealous over his work than some random girls anytime.

He and his peer group will be making money... a lot of it. Worldwide fame and making Fortune’s 500 isn’t a priority for my guy. He and his friends just want to have money and be comfortable with it -- that’s why most of them settle for the stable, high paying jobs. Yeah, he’ll sacrifice a lot for the future, but 10 years down the road, he’ll be comfortable in terms of finances. A financially responsible guy who lives life with realistic goals? Yes please.

He'll make a good husband for me. According to CNNGo, Chinese men make the best husbands. Why? They’re loyal (divorce still carries a huge stigma in the Asian culture), they carry your bags and they’re extremely tolerant.

He’s not an arrogant douchebag. Humility is a huge part of the Asian culture. If he gets a job interview or snags a raise, he won’t be broadcasting that information on social media. Chances are, he won’t be completely satisfied with his accomplishments and want to go for more.

He bombards me with gifts and food. My boyfriend is big on familial piety and like many of his friends, has a very extended and tight-knit family. Visit the family and you’ll never have a chance to be hungry. Loading inhuman amounts of food on my plate is their way of showing hospitality.

He helps me keep fit. Being fat is not okay in a stereotypically Asian community. My boyfriend works out to stay fit and frequents the gym on a daily basis. And when I'm packing on the pounds, he notices.

Why is dating the model minority such a bad thing? Sure, they’re not gracing the covers of People Magazine, owning Hollywood or infiltrating politics, but they’re in Wall Street. They’re the doctors, the lawyers and the engineers. They’re in the background of society and living a comfortable life because of it.

It’s not to say my boyfriend and I don’t have our fair share of regular couple problems. I get frustrated that he won’t go out with me as much as I’d like and I give him a hard time about not treating me to fancy Michelin-rated restaurants.

But as the girlfriend of a model minority, I don’t have to worry about all the shit girls my age complain about. He’s not out getting drunk and high, or throwing his future away from a couple years of YOLO. He’s not up for dating around, exploring his options or letting his ego consume him.

He’s sitting at home, working hard and giving it for a stable future. Parents and little kids love him. His bosses and friends respect him.

He’s solid, smart and humble. And I love him for it.

So to Wesley Yang, who lamented his identity as an Asian-American male, and Jenny An, who also heavily criticized the Asian stereotype with these words: “Fuck filial piety. Fuck grade grubbing. Fuck Ivy League mania. Fuck deference to authority. Fuck humility and hard work. Fuck harmonious relations. Fuck sacrificing for the future. Fuck earnest, striving middle-class servility.”

Oh don't you worry.

I’m fucking him all right.