You Are The Advice Columnist: My Sister Hates Me

Do I keep trying? Or give up?
Publish date:
June 26, 2013
You Are The Advice Columnist

I'm trying to figure out if I should try harder or in a different way to reconcile with my sister or if it's a lost cause before she goes off to college, and I move far away for graduate school next month.

In more detail, my younger sister and I have been growing apart for the last couple years. She never really confided in me growing up, I guess because I couldn't fulfill the traditional big sister role of guidance or advice as I was awkward, dateless, and chubby in high school, while she is the queen bee of her social group, with grades and an athletic scholarship to boot. But we were still reasonably close and got along, and I tried to support her where I could.

However, we were raised very conservatively and she has become very judgmental about the fact that I stopped going to church, started going out with friends regularly (le gasp! drinking), pierced/dyed/tattooed things. I also think she's always judged me a bit for the unpopular/fat thing too. Every time I try to talk with her about it, she shuts me down, and our relationship has devolved to passive-aggressive comments and glaring. The only comments I've gotten out her about it is that she's "afraid of what I might do" and spending time with me "isn't a priority."

Family's super important to me, my relationship with my other sister and my mom is great. I know we're young, but I'm terrified that we'll end up like my dad's side of family, who never talk, instead of my mom's (where the sibs are BFFs). Do I keep trying? Or give up?


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