Is Trump on Drugs? Is Howard Dean Lonely?

And other pressing questions from the Internet, answered by the Internet.
Publish date:
September 27, 2016

Remember when presidential elections were so quaint and nominees so pedestrian that you could knock yourself out of the race with a badly-timed, high-pitched warble? Me neither — at least, not until Howard Dean started tweeting last night.

Do you hear that? It's his fingernails desperately scraping against relevance but not quite being able to grab it. Seriously, Howard, this is Dr. Drew levels of inserting-yourself-into-conversations-where-you-don't-belong.

I feel like we've gone over this a lot. Doctors trying to shoehorn themselves into current events by diagnosing other people, who they are not treating and have no relationship to is tacky as hell, and irresp–

Wait, what am I saying?

This is Donald Trump, the man who bragged about avoiding taxes and stiffing his contractors and couldn't stop himself from making mouth noises every time Clinton spoke and drove me to drink shitty blue wine while watching the debate to drown my anxiety at the thought of this man running the country.

Speculate at will, internet!

So, what was Trump your educated, or maybe not, opinion? And should Jane run a first person from Donald's dealer? Or is that too low?

Do you find the irony of the alt-right getting annoyed at drug allegations despite their "Hillary has a tumor!" campaign just a little satisfying, or a lot satisfying?