I Wasn't a "Credible Witness" To My Own Rape (Because My Rapist Planned It That Way)

Serial sexual offenders are twisted enough to actually seek out the very people that nobody would want to believe.
Publish date:
November 24, 2014
rape, assault, Bill Cosby

Janice Dickinson was one of the many women who has accused Bill Cosby of sexual assault. I’ve heard and seen a lot of comments, both from friends and online comments, that she’s not credible because of her alcohol abuse and attraction to the limelight. I’m pretty sure that if the allegations against Bill Cosby are true, then that means he is a serial rapist and this would be the very reason why he selected Janice.

If what she says is true, then he attacked her right after she got out of rehab, offering her a drink and a pill. It bothers me that many people can’t understand that serial sexual offenders are twisted enough to actually seek out the very people that nobody would want to believe.

I would say thirteen women classifies Cosby as a serial rapist if the allegations were true.

An alleged serial rapist attacked me back in 2010. I say alleged because he’s never been convicted, but when I came forward with my story the police linked my rapist to two other women, thanks to a charming 666 tattoo on his lower abdomen. The detective on my case said that he had an M.O., so it was likely he attacked additional women, too.

Although I do not have proof, I had a hunch that he had sexually assaulted many other women. I met him in Park Slope. I was sexually assaulted in Sunset Park. Another of his victims was assaulted in Bay Ridge. When I began seeing news reports about the “Park Slope Rapist,” who raped mostly in Park Slope, Sunset Park, and Bay Ridge, a man that fit the same description as the man who raped me, I did all I could to try to report that I thought it was the same guy. However, there was no link made between the Park Slope rapist and the man they arrested for my rape.

But they did arrest my attacker, and the grand jury agreed that there was evidence for a trial to move forward.

However, that case, like so many other rape cases, got delayed and delayed and two years later it was re-tried for grand jury because the defense attorney said that the accused didn’t get a fair chance in the original grand jury. By this time, the other girls wanted to move on with their lives so there was only me to testify, which was a weak case and it got thrown out. It was a weak case mainly because I wasn’t a “credible” victim. My hair was too wild, and so was my lifestyle. I was addicted to cocaine at the time, had been doing coke that night and drinking. I was not doing very well mentally, didn’t have much structure or support. I was very vulnerable and lonely. The last thing I needed in my life was to deal with sexual assault.

Shit like that probably isn’t an accident. A serial rapist isn’t going to target an upstanding citizen, somebody difficult to manipulate. Like a lion targeting a lagging gazelle, a serial rapist grooms its prey and selects someone who isn’t going to be credible. They go for the person you would want to second-guess.

Serial attackers often choose people who they think people won’t care about or believe, people with drug problems or those who may seem a bit crazy. Sometimes even people that society deems as worthless, such as prostitutes.

I used to work for a television station owned by the Diocese of Brooklyn. We were all required to take Virtus class. The National Catholic Risk Retention Group, Inc. created Virtus, a program designed to prevent wrongdoings in religious organizations. During the class, we watched videos about molestation, and it was disturbing. Mostly it was unsettling because I felt like it was an instruction manual of how to sexually assault, how to groom the proper victims.

In the videos we watched, a serial child molester who bragged about violating dozens of children explained his process. He would usually pick out the kid that nobody would believe, maybe a troubled kid from a rough home. He said that he would do something to manipulate them into making the first move, having the kid touch him first even if it was innocent on their part, so that they blamed themselves for the sexual act he afterward forced on them.

In Anna C. Salter’s book, "Predators: Pedophiles, Rapists, and Other Sex Offenders," she interviewed many sexual predators. One was Mr. Saylor. He had worked as an athletic director in an elementary school, and at the age of 33 racked up 11 male rape victims (including his own nephew), one female rape victim, and approximately 1,250 male molestation victims. Due to his credentials, parents and community members had trouble believing the kids that spoke up.

The author wrote of him, “He is telling me that he used to choose emotionally disturbed children to victimize, kids who had histories of lying. That way, if they did disclose, no one would believe them. And they didn’t.”

One of the victims who had a history of lying told on him, and it only resulted in leaders of the community standing up for Mr. Saylor in his defense. The predator learned that he could get away with such crimes as long as he picked his victims properly.

I think the same thought process can be applied to any serial attacker. Victims are chosen very carefully and sometimes maliciously so that the attacker can continue his habit of using people’s bodies for their own selfish needs.

David Lisak, a clinical psychologist, did a series of studies on rape. He said that rapists target vulnerable victims and use alcohol as a weapon, and are well aware that intoxication on the female’s part will make them a less credible witness. “It makes the victim more vulnerable at the time but also impairs their credibility with the justice system should they choose to report the rape.”

Lisak argues that most rapists are not prosecuted. He calls them undetected rapists, and he says they account for the vast majority of rapes. He thinks that most undetected rapists are actually serial rapists, and “their crimes are characterized by extensive planning and premeditation.” It is difficult for them to get prosecuted because they think out their crimes, and their victims.

Although it’s disturbing to even acknowledge that sexual predators exist, it’s important to understand what makes them tick. Understanding their mindset more means understanding sexual assault survivors more.