Ever wondered what goes through a serial rapist’s mind? Wonder no longer, for Reddit has come to the rescue. A user kindly created a throwaway account to talk about it in lurid detail on an AskReddit thread, and even stuck around to answer questions from readers. If you’re curious, it’s absolutely as horrifying as you think it might be.
Throwaway for obvious fucking reasons, and not a story of backing out like the others in this thread.
This is probably not going to surface to the top being as I'm coming to this thread late in the game, but I am a post-colleged age male who raped several girls through use of coercion, alcohol, and other tactics over a course of 3 years.
First off, I must say, I was at a dark and horrible place in my life, that I've since grown from. I'm ashamed of the person I was, if the people who I'm close to now knew who I was, I would be ruined. I'm known for being a great guy, friendly and easy to get along with, a community/political activist, a fervent volunteer in the community, and a person who rises through the ranks quickly due to successes at work. That was my mask, and I was good at it, so good that maybe I convinced myself along the line that was who I could really be, and that may of helped me change, and stop doing what I did.
I'm somewhat remorseful for what I did to those girls, but I don't think I could ever face them to apologize. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I had this certain insatiable thirst that brought me to do what I did. I didn't know how to stop, and just when I thought maybe I could, I'd find myself back in my pattern, back on the hunt.
Naked misogyny is on display throughout his original post and his responses to questions, illustrating exactly how much contempt he had, and continues to have, for his victims and women in general:
...after a while it became boring to go after the sluts and sorority girls that would easily throw their cunt after you. I wanted the thrill of the chase, and that's what led me to forcing myself on girls.
Yes, he wants us to know that he’s really a great guy now, and he’s reformed. All that is behind him, you know. Which is why he’s posting a step-by-step guide on how to rape people and get away with it on Reddit.
The original post and the comments thread are really a nauseating reading experience and they’re a chilling look into rape culture. He preyed on women he saw as vulnerable in the knowledge that he was unlikely to be caught because many of them would have trouble identifying the experience as rape, let alone reporting it. Thanks to the attitude that the only “real” rape is one that involves kicking and screaming as a stranger assaults you from the darkness, many of his victims clearly struggled with what had happened to them but didn’t know how to label it or where to go for support.
Years later, many of them are probably still struggling with it; several victims speaking up in the thread described similar experiences from their college years and talked about how emotionally devastating they were. The rapist seems to think everything is dandy now that his victims have jobs and partners and other external markers of success, little understanding the way the experience of rape can insinuate itself into every corner of your life. It’s not like victims walk around with giant signs reading “I was raped and am forever broken,” unable to do anything else with their lives.
So many discussions about rape come from victims discussing their experiences and highlighting the fact that anyone can be a rapist, even someone you least expect. To have a rapist cheerily speaking up to affirm the words of victims is disturbing on a lot of levels; the first, of course, is that we shouldn’t need the words of a rapist to validate our experiences, and the second is the rapist’s cutting comments about how society as a whole enables people like him. He operated in full knowledge of the fact that his social position made him effectively untouchable.
In his own description, he paints himself as a “nice guy,” the sort of guy who belongs to lots of clubs, is socially active, works with officials and other people in power, and is generally considered precisely the sort of person who is least likely to be a rapist. He also goes on to explain how he exploited that in full knowledge of the fact that anyone who accused him wouldn’t be believed, because who would believe the words of a accuser against a respected member of the campus community?
He tells readers he stopped with the serial raping, but it’s fascinating to see how he frames it.
In one breath, he tells us he’s ashamed of what he did and that this was a dark time in his life. In another, he says he’d be “ruined” if people knew about his past. Curious indeed that he’s ashamed, but not ashamed enough to think he should be accountable for his actions. It makes his performance of shame ring rather false, since it’s less a question of whether he genuinely feels remorseful, or whether he was worried about getting caught and losing everything. His responses to questions in the thread don’t really suggest that he repents very much for his past actions, or that he views women with any more respect now than he did then.
Rapist: Now, to answer your question: No, [my wife] is not.
There was an accusation once by someone who turned out to be a friend of hers trying to "warn her." I didn't know, but was able to turn the situation around. Told her she had come onto me, and I turned her down, she was just jealous. Wife believed it, they're no longer friends (although they weren't real good friends before, so no big loss), I'm still a shitbag, but I'm also still married. Probably for the better, to be honest if I hadn't met my wife, I don't know if I would have evolved, and made the change in my life to stop when I did.
Miltonpepples: I have always been curious about one thing. If you like your partner to fight back, why not role playing? Why not a bit of Dom play? That animal need is normal and is stronger in others. Instead of trickery, why haven't you tried saying, I'm going to "break" into our house an take you hostage or something? It's the same primal need but your not assaulting someone. I mean this seriously. I am not pointing any fingers.
Rapist: I've pretty much come 180 on the whole thing. My wife tried to do the whole role playing victim/dom play with me, not knowing about my past, and honestly it was a huge turnoff. I'm so disgusted at myself for the things I did in my past that I don't enjoy that feeling anymore.
His own wife doesn’t know about his past, and he proudly touts the fact that when someone tried to warn her, he deflected the conversation. What a stand-up guy who’s really “learned” from his past actions, eh? Should we all applaud him for not raping people anymore? Should we even take him at his word when he says he doesn’t rape people anymore?
He concluded with a note to readers that he could be anyone, pointing out that he’s active in the Reddit community. It read more like a threat than a warning, a creepy reminder that predators are always looking for their next victims and are so secure in the fact that they won’t be caught that they have no problem taunting the very people they plan to prey upon.
And, of course, the thread is filled with helpful suggestions for women, telling them what they should look out for. Reminders that danger lurks around every corner. Some commenters suggest that women should project self-confidence to avoid men like him who prey upon women who appear vulnerable. All advice aimed at potential victims to tell them how to avoid rape – no suggestions that rapists prevent rape by not raping people.
I have nothing to say to serial_rapist_thread, but this is for everyone else reading this thread.
People like serial_rapist_thread will always exist in the world. I don't give a fuck whether serial_rapist_thread actually changed or not -- there are thousands more like him crawling all over the place, in every type of community.
He preyed on girls he identified as weak, shy and damaged. Ones he thought were NOT strong, confident women.
So please. I'm begging all the women out there (and especially those who can relate to serial_rapist_thread's victims) to love yourself and find that strong, confident woman who will NOT be an easy victim. Please don't rely on anyone except yourself to make you feel special.
People like serial_rapist_thread will always exist. Clearly, as serial_rapist_thread has demonstrated, they exist EVERYWHERE. They're not going to be wearing signs advertising themselves, and most likely, they'll be good at masking themselves, just like serial_rapist_thread was (if you act scary, how are you going to catch your victims?). You're going to be standing next to them in line at the grocery store, and they might be cute, tall and funny. It's an unfortunate, deeply tragic reality.
So please, ladies, recognize yourself as special, beautiful, unique, etc. (whatever adjective you prefer). So if you're ever on a date and someone is trying to pull serial_rapist_thread moves and quiet you down while you're squirming and rape you before you know what's happening, something inside you will say "NO." And that "NO" will resonate through your mind and your body and you will push that guy off. I understand that this is simplistic.
But people like serial_rapist_thread should never have "easy victims" to prey on.
There’s speculation in the thread about whether this guy is for real. The underlying point made by his post and in responses is the same, though: Rapists are everywhere, and few are held accountable for their actions. Social perceptions about who rapes and what rape looks like means that many victims are afraid to report, and when they do, the accused may be considered “not that kind of guy.”