Discuss and debate the issues that mean the most to you.
1 of 11 |
"I live for the day that I am financially and emotionally stable enough to raise children... April 10, 2010 was not that day. I know that because I am the one who decides that."
I wrote more about it on Tumblr on my 2-year abortionversary: http://girlgrampa.tumblr.com/post/20861853182/my-last-long-disorganized-gratuitous-post-about-my
In retrospect, even that is far more apologetic than I have really ever felt. I think I was afraid of sounding like a "bad person." The xoJane article really helped me realize that I'm not the only person out there who has never felt any shame or regret about my abortion. No matter how bad or good my situation was, I was 21 and I wasn't having a fucking baby. End of story.
2 of 11 |
"I was a clinic escort. I hope to have helped make a chaotic situation a little easier."
3 of 11 |
"I got pregnant my first time. I had an abortion! I was 14. I am NOT ashamed."
I lost my virginity three weeks, to the day, before I turned 14. On my 14th birthday, I figured out I was pregnant. One time and done. My boyfriend wanted me to continue the pregnancy.
I could not do so. At 14 weeks pregnant my Mom and Dad took me to a doctor who inserted a laminaria and told us where to go the next day. As I was just into the second trimester, I was able to have general anesthesia. The abortion was done at a hospital.
When I got there, they took me from my Mom, and I cried the entire time. I was scared and surrounded by girls and women of all ages, races and marital statuses. While I was too scared to talk much, I listened. The women around me were there for a multitude of reasons, but what it came down to was they could not carry a pregnancy to term.
One by one they called us out and walked us to the operating room. It was over quickly and I don't remember anything after, "Count back from 100."
Afterwards my parents stopped at McDonald's and bought me something to eat. It was over.
I did have some emotional issues following the abortion, but I know most women do not. Regardless of the emotional issues, now I know that the abortion was absolutely the right thing for me to do at 14 years old. I was not prepared to continue a pregnancy, nor have a child.
Now, I am 37 years old and in a wonderful marriage. We have no children of our own, but I have a number of nieces and nephews that I adore. Had I not had the abortion, I wouldn't have my husband and possibly not my life. I had alcohol and drug issues in my late teen years and I cannot imagine I would have been able to quit if I was also parenting a child.
4 of 11 |
"If Plan B had failed, I would have gotten an abortion."
5 of 11 |
"Pregnancy changes your brain -- your body -- your life. EVERYTHING. You deserve the right to CHOOSE motherhood. KEEP ABORTION LEGAL."
Not to sound cliché, but motherhood is one of the greatest achievements of my life. But having my son was a CHOICE. Pregnancy and motherhood change your body, your brain, your life—not one aspect of your existence goes untouched. Abortion needs to remain safe, accessible and legal so that all women can make their own choices. I’m a devoted mother—and devotedly pro-choice.
6 of 11 |
"My abortion would be life saving. Anti-health /= pro-life."
7 of 11 |
"I had an abortion and it changed my life... for the BETTER. NO REGRETS!"
My abortion changed my life. I walked out of the clinic feeling relieved and empowered. I was always pro-choice, but now I am an activist. I am an advocate. I am a Planned Parenthood volunteer. I am a clinic escort. I am a student hoping to have a career defending women and their right to abortion. Like Dr. Tiller said, Trust Women.
8 of 11 |
"Yes, they ARE awesome! I've had abortions and am so grateful I was able to make those choices. Choice. Always. No matter what!"
9 of 11 |
"My husband and I chose abortion. It made me so, so sad. Sometimes it still does. We aren't ready for kids of our own... but guess what? I love being available and having the energy and patience needed to help children with developmental disabilities and their families on their time, when they need me."
I can't show my face (I never told my mom), but here's my story. I was 23 when I found out I was 16 weeks pregnant, after having been on hormonal birth control and having regular periods. Having a surgical abortion was an emotional experience for me ("GUESS WHAT? You're pregnant! And you know what else? You're like..super duper pregnant already!") but I am incredibly grateful for the fact that I was able to choose. Abortion gave me my life - the one that I wanted and planned for.
10 of 11 |
"At 17, I had an abortion. I was married. He went with me. We just celebrated our 18th anniversary. Having the abortion remains one of the best decisions we have ever made."
11 of 11 |
I was always one of those people who believed abortion was okay for everyone else, but that *I* would never have one -- I want kids, and always believed that no matter what, having one would be a blessing. I had a long & fantastic, sometimes protection-less sex life & had never gotten pregnant. Then right before my second year of grad school, about 8 months into a relationship with a partner who "never wanted kids," I got pregnant, at 28. Not gonna say it was an "accident" -- there was too much else at stake for us to have been so careless -- but it was a mistake, and clearly, instantly unwanted. As much as I love kids, having one at that time with that person was obviously the wrong course of action. THANK GOD I HAD A CHOICE!!!!!!! I had a medical abortion, paid for by my university-sponsored health insurance. THANK GOD I HAD INSURANCE!! Even though it was painful, upsetting, and seemed to last way too long, I know i did the right thing. My partner was with me and we got through it together, which made our bond even stronger. The experience also lifted an immense pressure I had been feeling about having a family -- I suddenly knew that i wasn't ready at 28, even though I'd been telling myself I was and should be and it was time, etc.
My mom and I are pretty close, and we're a very open, communicative family -- there aren't many secrets. It felt weird not to have told her what I was going through while it was happening, but I held back because I was worried she would be scared or ashamed for me if she knew. The following Christmas she & I were talking about my relationship, and I opened up about what we'd recently been through. Rather than being shocked by it or sad for me, she amazed me by nodding thoughtfully and responding "I had one too." Our stories are completely different -- hers happened a couple months after the birth of her second child (me!), when she got pregnant & realized she couldn't handle more than 2 without extra help that they couldn't afford. Actually she could barely handle one -- my brother was an incredibly hyper, frustrating, difficult child. My dad really wanted more, but she just couldn't do it. She had a surgical abortion, and we shared the details with each other about what we went through mentally, physically and emotionally.
At that moment, I felt so close to her, and felt a bond with womankind that I'd never felt before. Like I suddenly had this really womanly thing I could relate to my mom and other women about, on a totally neutral level, no power dynamic, no judgement. Since then, I have been much less afraid to talk about my abortion, and have found that many, many women are interested, receptive, and also have their own stories to share.
My partner & I finished grad school (which i couldn't have done 7-9 months pregnant -- I barely got through it on my own) and moved to a new city together. Now, almost 3 years later, we recently got engaged (yeee!). Our feelings have evolved so much -- I still don't feel as much pressure to have babies ASAP, and he now believes he could be a dad someday, albeit a very different one from his own. Because of who we were & the prejudices we brought to our relationship initially, I seriously doubt we could have gotten to this place of pure acceptance, love and trust if we hadn't gone through my abortion together.
Kudos to you all at xoJane for giving us a forum to safely, proudly discuss our choices -- I am not ashamed of having had an abortion!
When I Decided I Would Get an Abortion If I Got Pregnant Again, I Felt Abandoned by My Progressive Church
I’m Episcopalian, and over the course of my adult life, I’ve never heard abortion mentioned where anyone could hear.
- evelyn-shoopDecember 22, 2016
Americans are desperately petitioning President Obama to rescue them from Donald Trump. It's not going to work.
- se-smithDecember 19, 2016