5 Signs That Prove This Congressman Is Right About Semen Making You Smarter

The answer is jizz.
Publish date:
November 12, 2014

How can women hope to be smart like a man? Member of Poland’s Congress of the New RightRobert Jaroslaw Iwaszkiewicz knows.

The answer is jizz, which has the power to spread the man’s autonomous thinking juice to women as long as a condom doesn’t get in the way. In his interview with the Independent, he explains this scientific discovery.

Semen probably is not wasted, because nature usually makes use of the material it has, and there is a hypothesis that the attitudes of men are passed to women by way of the semen which penetrates the tissue…there is a very strong argument for this hypothesis, that now when [oral] contraceptives are much more in use, the women become much more independent.”

His quote deserves a million cynical retweets, but before you go ahead and buy a tweed blazer in honor of your ever sharper brain, let’s see if it’s actually working. As a litmus test for all women, here are the five signs semen is making you more intelligent.

1. You suddenly experience a remarkable thirst for knowledge and semen. When your mind wanders, you tend to think about the penis and how it completes you.

2. When you measure the circumference of your flower crown with measuring tape, it seems to have expanded in breadth.

3. No matter how difficult it is to think about political issues surrounding the price of shoes logically, you persevere. Math? Fine. The economy? Also perfect, no matter how hard it is.

4. When danger is near, instead of fainting, you ask the nearest man, or puddle of ejaculate, what to do.

5. When men are speaking about important things, you only pull out a pocket dictionary eight times.

Reprinted with permission from Styleite. Want more?

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