What is a time of joy for many women was my darkest hour.
Yesterday Cat told me she was going to refill her Adderall prescription, and guess what, people? I will NOT let this happen. I know that one of the biggest things that triggers her to use this drug is the weight gain that goes along with not using. She claims it's the only thing that keeps her slim, but for Cat thinness on Adderall also comes with depression, mood swings, unreliability (moreso than usual) and in my opinion, impaired writing skills.
Cat doesn't feel comfortable at her current weight because it's higher than her preferred number. Fine. That whole body autonomy thing includes the right to keep your body whatever size you want it. But Cat has no idea how to do it healthily. For as long as I've known her, she's either starved herself on drugs for months at a time, or when she's pill-free, eaten compulsively to numb the "gnawing existential boredom" she claims to feel when she is sober.
I'm determined to show her she can be the size she wants without drugs (I can't help with the sober boredom). Cat isn't used to feeling the hunger that Adderall suppresses, and so she isn't sure yet how to eat.
"I'm full," Cat told me after a few bites of salad yesterday. "What do I do?"
I told her to put the lid on it and save it for later when she would surely be hungry again. This sounds intuitive, but if you're not used to having an appetite, eating again can be tricky.
I have ordered her a three-day
told me about. Juice cleanses are a total fad, I know, but I'm hoping that these juices will relieve Cat from the stress of feeding herself for a few days. Each one offers a ton of nutrients and enough calories, so this is nothing like
Once Cat is done juicing, I'm booking her in with a nutritionist to keep her moving with this whole health thing. You'll read all about her experience with Ritual Cleanse later. And I'm doing it too
because I'm a beauty grifter
for moral support.
In the meantime, I thought I'd tell you about my favorite snack. By favorite I mean that it's filling and fibrous, not delicious or anything [So your favorite snack is NOT delicious? Okay, I will keep going with you here, Julie. --Jane]. Please excuse the label, which makes these crackers sound horribly diety. I think their healthy message was lost in translation or something. Look, ELLE approves.
I've been eating GG Scandinavian Bran Crispbreads for years and topping them with whatever I fancy. You can even make a meal out of them, by adding vegetables and protein. Or spread them with peanut butter. How about CHEESE? French preserves. Flavored lubricant. Okay, enough.
Can you help me help Cat kick her Addy habit by talking about how you eat? [I can understand if your reaction is that this is too simplistic an answer, BUT I have heard Cat say about a dozen times that she wants Adderall again specifically to lose weight. She also likely has some degree of BDD, as so many of us do. --Jane] And sharing your experiences with getting off of Adderall, cigarettes and other unhealthy appetite suppressants. Let's do this.
Ask Julie things on Twitter @JR_Schott.