What is a time of joy for many women was my darkest hour.
By 9 AM yesterday morning, I had already downed three cups of coffee, spent an hour working on a screenplay, ran 4 miles, showered, eaten breakfast, and made it to my desk on time.
As my coworker grumbled about being exhausted, I pretended to sympathize. Oh yeah, me too...so tired. But the truth is, I wasn't tired. I am a morning person. 5 am to 11 am are my glory hours. But for some reason, whenever I tell people I am a morning person, they look at me like I just told them I put peanut butter on my pizza. Oh girl, you nasty.
No more! I am coming out as a proud morning person. If my productivity in the wee hours makes you dislike me, well appease yourself with the fact that I am sleeping by 10 pm Monday through Friday.
But in truth, I wasn't ALWAYS a morning person. I taught myself that shit. You see, I used to just be sort of unproductive in general. In the afternoon, I am pretty much useless. I leave all of my easy, mindless stuff for the end of the day because I know my brain powers down at 4 pm, and by the time I leave the office at 5:30, it's jello.
So I made myself into a morning person. Here is how:
My wake-up time used to be the last possible second I could stand without being completely irresponsible. As a result, I was always rushing, frequently frazzled, and often late. Not a good start to the day. So I started moving my alarm back slowly. If self control is an issue, don't use snooze.
Many of us use our phones for alarms. Instead, go buy an alarm without a snooze setting, or pop the snooze button off. It took a long time to creep that clock back earlier and earlier. If you try forcing yourself to immediately wake up three hours earlier, you will hate yourself. Start getting up fifteen minutes earlier, and creep it back. Also, trick yourself into being excited about it. How?
Schedule something in the morning you like doing.
Simple bribery! This is how I have creeped my rise hour earlier and earlier over the years. I give myself an hour to write first thing when I wake up. No email, no Twitter Facebook Instagram orgy, just a creative project. Another trick? I lure myself out of bed with coffee. A quiet hour with coffee and something that makes my brain wet is more likely to get me out of bed then hopping right into my car and into traffic. Also food. I will always get out of bed for good food.
Lock someone else down, too.
This is good if you're trying to make yourself a morning person so you can exercise. Remember, I am lazy in the afternoons, so I like to work out in the morning, and it's always easier to stick to if you're meeting a friend for a fitness date. At least you can commiserate together.
Also, for me, it's hard seeing my friends on the reg. We're all busy! Or maybe they just don't like me. Probably because I am always trying to get them to meet me at the gym at 7 am. Epiphany!
Anyway, if you have a like-minded buddy, this is a good way to see each other. Unless your friend is a flaker. Then they will probably only hinder your early rising efforts with that 6 am “Can't make it, sry” text.
Becoming a morning person is not easy, but it has probably been one of the most life-changing things I have ever done. At first you will probably be really cranky, but eventually you might be excited to hop out of bed and get shit done.
Enjoying the morning does have some drawbacks. Sleeping in is now impossible for me. On the weekends, when visiting my boyfriend -- who will easily sleep til 2 pm -- I read in bed next to him. Eventually I started storing an extra pair of running shoes there so I could run around Prospect Park while he slumbers.
At some point I am usually able to stir him with promises of blow jobs and bagels, but I have devoured a ton of books and logged a lot of park miles in the last 2 years.
Are you a morning person? Most productive at midnight? Do people find your productivity annoying ever? A fellow writer friend asked when I write these here posts, what with a day job and stuff, and I said “usually around 6 am.” She responded with “Ew.”
Follow me on Twitter for early morning Tweets that may or may not make you want to punch me. I'm scrappy, I can take it!