What is a time of joy for many women was my darkest hour.
Dear people who say they don't like anti-depressants because they "don't feel like themselves": That's the freaking point.
Feeling like myself is synonymous with not really feeling anything. At stasis, my biology renders life mostly colorless, tasteless and joyless. Either that or I'm like a keyboard somebody dribbled water all over -- you press one button and a feeling surges unbidden. Wires cross, panic surges out of context.
Those two pills on my tongue -- the small white on is Celexa, the large on is Wellbutrin -- help me feel like somebody else and thank God for that.
That's all I take -- no birth control or vitamins or anything sensible like that. I asked some gals around the office the headline question -- their answers after the jump.
Laia: I don't take any pills. I used to be on birth control but once I lost my health insurance I let my prescription run out. I was definitely planning on going back on it, but while I was off it I realized that the pill TOTALLY killed my sex drive. I was having sex like, maybe once a month and I felt really bad for my boyfriend even though he never complained or anything. I had just assumed there was something wrong with me and I would just never be one of those girls that liked doing it (SO SAD!). I've thought about going back on it but I'm kind of wary 'cause I'm quite enjoying my saucy new lifestyle. So I probably won't.Cat: Wow. Had you asked me this question a year ago I would have blown your MIND. But right now I only take Wellbutrin (which they started me on at my last rehab) and these little clonazepam (kolonpin) wafers that taste like strawberries. They're the lowest dose possible. I don't mess with mind-altering pills anymore, but my doctor gave me these to "wind me down" in the evening because ever since I went off pills (I used to take about 10-15 different ones a day) I can't sleep. I still don't sleep much and lay in the dark tweeting or writing or whatever until 5 a.m., so most of the time I don't even take them. I just like having them because they seem like delicious candy placebos for anxious babies! And they come in a cool Damien Hirst-y box.
Jane: This is just the beginning.